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Israel Unveils New Defense System To Deflect Accusations Of Human Rights Violations

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Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA A new report finds climate change skeptics could reach catastrophic levels by 2020, the nation's ...

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The Onion comedy satire news Onion News Network ONN ONNCast humor Human Rights (Quotation Subject) Stand-up Comedy (TV Genre) News Broadcasting (TV Genre) Israel (Country) Palestine (Region) Palestine Liberation Organization (Organization) Funny a V Basia BASIA basia lid canvas sheet mask screen cap roof jacket front dress top tent coating wrapper seal facade sheath bark hood guise overlay cloak paint spread veneer ceiling varnish binding marquee dome shroud veil case stopper polish drop awning put-on canopy parasol wraps tarp reality harbor covert haven guard safety refuge asylum port danger coat bury layer shield mantle crown daub stash carpet cache house clothe enfold invest shade put on encase set on unmask unwrap ignore reveal open expose show let go tell forget fend defend secure harm injure hurt reach involve examine survey suffice embrace embody meet reject fail divide relate detail recount report narrate tell of hide offset insure balance relieve make good take over uncover exclude lay out abandon track range cross trek stay account affirmation airtight case allegation answer assertion assurance avowal cop-out cover declaration excuse explanation fish story justification plea pretext profession proof reason reply retort song and dance stall statement vindication administer affix anoint bestow fasten join lay on massage place rub smear touch den hideaway hideout hole ivory tower preserve retreat safe house sanctuary security shelter bed linen bedclothes bedspread blanket comforter coverlet eiderdown electric blanket linen pillow pillowcase quilt thermal blanket bedcover counterpane adhere attach bandage border chain cinch clamp connect constrict edge enchain enfetter fetter finish fix fold furl glue hamper handcuff hem hitch hitch on hobble hook on hook up lace lap lash leash manacle moor muzzle paste peg down pin pin down pinion put together restrain restrict rope shackle stick strap swathe tack on tether tie tie up trammel trim truss unite wrap yoke alibi apply bedding bind Cover covers Bruce bruce Springsteen springsteen The Onion The Onions comic sudden tense affecting breathtaking climactic dramaturgic dramaturgical effective electrifying emotional expressive farcical histrionic impressive melodramatic powerful sensational spectacular startling striking suspenseful the histrionical The onion Onion ONION onions fun humor satire farce picnic takeoff drollery hoopla travesty hilarity ball camp jesting joking sitcom laughs funnies grins schtick chaffing gag show play on send-up sadness tragedy Broadway boards climax comedy dramatic art dramatization dramaturgy footlights histrionic art melodrama play production scene show show business showmanship stage show stagecraft tear-jerker theater theatricals thespian art vehicle crisis dramatics emotion excitement histrionics spectacle tension theatrics absurdity broad comedy buffoonery burlesque caricature high camp horseplay interlude joke low camp mock mockery parody pratfall comedy ridiculousness sham skit slapstick curtain-raiser drama entertainment flop hit mask musical one-act opera performance potboiler smash smash hit theatrical turkey act appearance carnival cinema film flick motion picture movie pageant picture presentation showing curiosity demonstration display event exposition extravaganza marvel parade phenomenon representation sight spectacular tableau view wonder Comedy irony skit wit spoof squib seriousness burly caricature farce lampoon lampoonery mock mockery parody pastiche peep show revue satire send-up strip takeoff travesty vaudeville burlesque cartoon distortion imitation libel mimicry pasquinade put-on ridicule sham animation comic strip drawing representation sketch ball camp chaffing comic drama comicality comicalness drollery drollness facetiousness field day fun fun and games funnies funniness gag show grins high camp high time hilarity hoopla humor humorousness interlude jesting joking laughs light entertainment merry-go-round picnic play on schtick sitcom slapstick wisecracking witticism wittiness Bronx cheer backhanded compliment brickbat butt comeback contempt contumely crack dig disdain disparagement dump jab jest joke laughingstock laughter object of ridicule parting shot pilgarlic put-down raillery scoffing scorn slam slap sneering adumbration allegory alliteration allusion analogue analogy anaphora anticlimax antistrophe antithesis aposiopesis apostrophe asyndeton bathos comparison conceit device echoism ellipsis euphemism euphuism exaggeration expression flourish flower hyperbole image imagery litotes malapropism manner of speaking metaphor metonymy onomatopoeia ornament oxymoron parable paradox parallel personification proteron rhetoric sarcasm simile synecdoche trope tropology turn of phrase understatement way of speaking comedy derision figure of speech Satire story word advice account report message data rumor hearsay telegram tidings dispatch telecast scandal leak telling copy cable recital scoop release bulletin exposé lowdown silence truth history admonition advisement advocacy aid bum steer caution charge consultation counsel directions dissuasion encouragement exhortation forewarning guidance help information injunction input instruction judgment lesson news opinion persuasion prescription proposal proposition recommendation steer suggestion teaching telltale tip tip-off two cents' worth view warning word to the wise advertisement briefing broadcast broadcasting communication communiqué disclosure dissemination divulgence edict exposing exposition expression intimation narration notice notification prediction promulgation publication publishing recitation reporting revelation statement announcement break calendar flash handout hot wire item list news flash program skinny the dope what's going down what's happening comment cry grapevine rumble scuttlebutt talk whisper conversation converse declaration directive excerpt goods hot story ideas info inside story intelligence language missive note pipeline poop prophecy précis publicity speech summary translation utterance work buzz intimate intelligence juicy morsel the lowdown dirt NEWS story word advice account report message data rumor hearsay telegram tidings dispatch telecast scandal leak telling copy cable recital scoop release bulletin exposé lowdown silence truth history admonition advisement advocacy aid bum steer caution charge consultation counsel directions dissuasion encouragement exhortation forewarning guidance help information injunction input instruction judgment lesson news opinion persuasion prescription proposal proposition recommendation steer suggestion teaching telltale tip tip-off two cents' worth view warning word to the wise advertisement briefing broadcast broadcasting communication communiqué disclosure dissemination divulgence edict exposing exposition expression intimation narration notice notification prediction promulgation publication publishing recitation reporting revelation statement announcement break calendar flash handout hot wire item list news flash program skinny the dope what's going down what's happening comment cry grapevine rumble scuttlebutt talk whisper conversation converse declaration directive excerpt goods hot story ideas info inside story intelligence language missive note pipeline poop prophecy précis publicity speech summary translation utterance work buzz intimate intelligence juicy morsel the lowdown dirt NEWS web chain system grid net nexus plexus wattle fabric complex maze fiber mesh artery weave grill hookup jungle netting wiring tracks disorganization mingle meet hobnob avoid divide admix alloy ally coalesce combine come together compound consolidate fuse hook up with incorporate integrate interface intermix join together meld merge network pool team up tie in tie up unite bureaucracy chain of command hierarchy setup structure band binding connection cord fastening fetter gunk handcuff irons ligature link linkage manacle rope shackle stickum tie tie-in wire affiliation affinity attachment connective friendship interrelationship liaison marriage obligation relationship restraint union gossamer labyrinth snare tissue toil webbing amalgamate associate bind blend bond bracket bunch up coadjute commingle conjoin cooperate couple dub get together glue oneself to hitch on hook on join league marry mix plug into put together relate slap on stand in with synthesize tack on tag on team up with throw in together tie up with unify wed apparatus cobweb Network Net-Work Onns farce joke banter whimsy gag wit fun joking gaiety jest levity sadness tragedy drama tone nature makeup whim vagary strain bent quirk mind fancy notion bias bee temper vein dislike hate afford aid arrange assist avail benefit bow comfort convenience defer favor furnish gratify help humor indulge oblige pamper please provide serve settle submit suit supply support sustain yield cater to cherish coddle cosset cuddle dandle dote on foster nurse overindulge pet satisfy spoil caper changeableness contrariety crotchet fad fickleness fitfulness fool notion freak impulse inconsistency inconstancy jerk kink mood peculiarity perversity put on rib thought baby cotton minister to outfit pander to procure provision purvey victual appearance aspect attribute badge caliber cast complex complexion constitution crasis disposition emotions estimation ethos frame frame of mind genius grain habit kind mettle morale mystique personality quality record reputation repute sense set shape singularity sort specialty spirit standing streak style temperament trait turn type branch brand breed caste character classification collection color degree denomination department description designation distinction division domain estate family feather genre genus grade grouping hierarchy ilk kidney league make mold name order origin property province range rank rate school sect section selection source species sphere status stripe value variety accommodate caprice cater class Humor staff sap cudgel works baton mace hammer mallet billy cosh shill union league company society set guild faction circle crew hangout gang clique lodge mob ring outfit meeting order bunch division wedge spoon wood stick iron cleek bash whack pound beat clout baste lose affiliation alliance band clan club coalition combination combo confederacy confederation congress cooperative corporation crowd family federation fellowship fraternity hookup organization partnership pool rat pack sodality sorority syndicate tie-in tie-up tribe troops troupe zoo advance aggress ambush assail assault bat bean beset besiege biff blast blister boff bombard boot bop brain bust charge chop down clip clock combat cook harm hit hurt infiltrate invade jump kick knock block off knock cold knock for a loop larrup lay siege to light into molest mug overwhelm pounce upon punch raid rush set upon slog soak stab storm strike take the offensive turn on wallop whop assembly association bevy body cluster collection corps coterie covey gathering horde menagerie party troop batter berate clobber drub lambaste lash maul pelt revile scold trounce whip whomp billy club blackjack nightstick rod truncheon wand bang belt box break bruise buffet cane castigate collide crush flagellate flail flog knock lick maltreat mash pummel punish ram rap slap slug smack spank swat thrash thresh thump thwack whale attack Club Website website web site musical Musicals artist Artist Israel israel disclose open display tell show spring expose discover divulge bare betray uncover come out give away unbosom lay bare lay open open up hide veil cover accept accord acquiesce adopt affirm agree allow approve avow bring to light communicate concede concur confide confirm consent cop a plea credit declare enumerate go into details grant indicate let let on make known narrate number own own up permit proclaim profess recite recognize relate reveal spill subscribe to talk tolerate unveil yield exhibit publish unroll acknowledge admit blab broadcast come out of the closet confess impart leak let slip mouth snitch spill the beans squeal unfurl utter advertise arrange boast brandish bring to view demonstrate emblazon evidence evince expand extend feature flash flaunt flourish glaze grandstand illustrate lay out make clear manifest model open out parade perform present promote promulgate represent set out show off showcase sport spread out stretch out trot out unfold unmask vamp air crack debunk denude dig up disport let cat out of bag let out open to view prove put on view report smoke out streak tip off unclothe unearth unshroud bring forward bring in commence enter establish found inaugurate induct initiate innovate install invent kick off launch organize pioneer plan preface set up start usher in introduce late modern unusual current strange unique recent latest modish novel now topical unknown unlike untried unused virgin dewy like usual future worn old normal common past fresh other more another else extra farther further added improved altered changed renewed revived newly anew affixed appended increased new on the side option over-and-above padding perk spare supplementary afresh another time come again de novo from scratch from the beginning in a different way in a new way lately once again once more one more time over over again recently a distinct a further a separate one more some other that beat experimental head hip innovative lead leading-edge liberal new wave pioneering progressive radical state-of-the-art vanguard dubious flaky mostly working pre-release suspect testing unready bare barren clean empty pale plain spotless uncompleted unfilled unmarked untouched vacant vacuous virginal void white additional avant-garde beta blank N.E.W. shield fence wall guard aegis rampart arms bastion citadel shelter dike ward fort warfare parapet bulwark cover trench armor redoubt weapons harm hurt injury flight story answer reply return excuse plea apology retort jive cleanup copout request question charge betrayal yielding advancement aid assistance backing campaigning for championing defense encouragement justification pleading for promotion promulgation propagation proposal recommendation upholding urging ballast bower comfort fastener foothold grapnel grappling iron grip hold hook kedge mainstay mooring mud hook pillar protection safeguard security staff stay support Band-Aid acknowledgment antiphon back talk backcap close comeback comment cooler counterclaim crack disclosure echo elucidation explanation feedback guff interpretation key lip observation parting shot pay dirt quick fix rebuttal refutation rejoinder remark repartee report resolution response result rhetorical question riposte sign solution statement thank-you note the ticket topper vindication wisecrack admission amends atonement concession confession extenuation mea culpa mitigation redress reparation argumentation assertion case claim contention debate discussion exchange expostulation grounds line of reasoning logic pleading polemic proof questioning reason reasoning remonstrance remonstration ammunition gun hardware heat material materiel munitions ordnance weaponry advocacy anchor argument armament(s) scheme rule theory integral setup ideology complex totality entity sum red tape cog part practice process strategy policy tactics pattern artifice custom fashion manner way routine usage wise mode modus reality alignment array classification combination composition design display disposition distribution form grouping lineup method ordering organization pecking order ranging rank sequence structure system canon charter codex constitution convention digest discipline ethics etiquette manners maxim regulation association compound conglomerate ecosystem entanglement group network syndrome synthesis balloters body of voters body politic citizenry city county district electorate electors faction nation people precinct state voters voting area ward architecture arrangement assembly build cast conception contour cut development edifice elevation erecting erection fabric fabricating fabrication figuration figure format formation foundation improvisation invention makeup making manufacture mold origination outline plan planning prefab prefabrication putting up raising rearing roadwork shape systematization turn type advancement chain channels consecution continuity flow furtherance line march movement order polity procedure program progression row sequel series string succession unfolding code constituency construction course System avert veer hook bend slip pivot whip wheel whirl sheer fend shy curve slew twist parry wind stay avoid deflect deter divert fend off foil forestall frustrate halt look away preclude prevent rule out shove aside shunt stave off turn turn aside turn away ward off abstain bypass circumlocute circumvent desist ditch dodge duck elude escape eschew evade fake out flee give the slip hide hold off jump keep clear lay low obviate recoil run for cover shake shake and bake shake off shirk shrink from shuffle off shun sidestep skip skip out on skip town skirt stay away stay out steer clear of step aside weave withdraw angle away angle off arch bow buckle camber careen circle contort crimp crinkle crook crouch curl deform detour double droop flex genuflect incline incurvate lean loop pervert round spiral stoop swerve tilt verge warp waver wilt yaw zigzag aberrate bear off bend the rules break pattern circumlocate contrast depart depart from differ digress divagate diverge drift edge off err get around go amiss go haywire go off on tangent go out of control go out of way leave beaten path not conform part swim against stream take a turn vary wander alter change modify redirect switch volte-face beat off drive back hold at bay keep at a distance keep at arm's length keep off rebuff rebuke rebut refuse reject repel repulse resist snub spurn deviate beef rumble roar dido gripe squawk censure stink slur blast bum rap exposé praise flattery approval accusation affirmation asservation avowal charge claim declaration deposition overment plea profession statement animadversion arraignment attack attribution castigation chiding complaint criticism denunciation depreciation diatribe disapprobation disapproval disfavor disparagement expostulation exprobation impeachment implication imputation incrimination inculpation indictment invective objurgation obloquy opposition rebuke recrimination remonstrance reprehension reprimand reproach reprobation reproof repudiation tirade annoyance cavil clamor dissatisfaction fault-finding grievance grouse grumble guff jeremiad kick lament moan objection plaint protest protestation rap remonstration representation trouble wail whine blame damnation denouncement doom judgment proscription sentence stricture cursing damning derogation dressing down fulmination knock smearing stigmatization upbraidment vilification berating billingsgate blasphemy condemnation contumely epithet philippic revilement sarcasm scurrility tongue-lashing vituperation allegation personal animal mortal fallible fleshly hominid biped bipedal hominal hominine inhuman unmanly body life child being soul wight plant Robin Hood all heart benevolent big big-hearted bleeding heart charitable considerate generous good good scout human humane humanitarian kind magnanimous openhanded philanthropic self-sacrificing beast conscious thing creature entity human being individual living thing organism person personage thing actual carnal corporal corporeal gross material natural normal organic physical sensual somatic substantial tangible unspiritual party anatomical fleshy objective phenomenal sensible altruistic bodily Human humans warm blood soft skin ugly disguisting ape gorilla mammal domintion deviation weird aliens non skinned scales ignorant social aggression stupid irresponsible argonimorphic claim power title due merit favor wrong freedom good truth liberty reason virtue equity honor evil repair square rectify redress restore doctor adjust emend mend scrub launder reward amend patch settle debug balance fix up pick up ruin harm break hurt upset move God-given rights civil liberties constitutional rights freedom of religion freedom of speech freedoms freedoms of citizens human rights legal rights natural rights rights rights of citizenship unalienable rights dueness entitlement preemptive declaration privilege request Four Freedoms God-given right civil rights constitutional freedom freedom from fear freedom from want freedom of expression freedom of worship political liberty alter ameliorate better change elevate enhance fix help lift make up for modify pay one's dues raise reform remedy revise right ascendancy authorization beef charge clout command credit domination dominion edge esteem force goods government guts influence juice jump jurisdiction leg up license mastery might might and main permission permit pizzazz pow powerhouse prerogative prestige punch ropes rule say say-so steam strength strong arm stuff supremacy sway upper hand warrant weight what it takes whip hand word zap excuse grounds justification necessity obligation occasion urge dibs civil liberty authority call right? can&39;t really think tag jimmy someone all are niglet sphinkter boy sphinkter monster sphinkter snake bunghole cornhole sphinkter mouse abuse offense break wrong rupture obedience ruin rapine piety honor crime damage defilement harm hurt impairment injury malevolence maltreatment manhandling misdeed pollution violation wrongdoing advance aggression charge incursion invasion offensive onset onslaught rape storm storming strike assailing assailment barrage blitz blitzkrieg dirty deed drive encounter encroachment foray initiative inroad intervention intrusion irruption mugging onrush outbreak push raid rush skirmish thrust volley barratry contravention delinquency dereliction disobedience disregard infraction infringement neglect noncompliance nonobservance transgression trespass bootlegging counterfeiting dealing goods moonshine piracy plunder poaching rum-running smuggling stuff swag theft trafficking wetbacking abomination antisocial behavior atrocity breach caper case corruption criminality delict delictum depravity enormity evil evil behavior fast one fault felony hit illegality immorality iniquity job lawlessness malefaction malfeasance misconduct misdemeanor mortal sin outrage racket scandal sneak tort unlawful act vice villainy wickedness assault attack contraband violations Quotation subject Subject plumb upright steep erect sheer on end level prone good legal honest proper due moral lawful true evil unreal unfair unjust insane false wrong mad unfit left end up raised upward cocked end on upended lying fallen card clown comic farceur jester wag wit gagster horizontal stand-up standing straight straight-up vertical appropriate condign conscientious deserved equitable ethical fitting honorable justifiable legitimate merited requisite righteous rightful scrupulous suitable virtuous perpendicular upstanding comedian humorist jokester quipster stand-up comedian stand-up comic wisecracker right funnyman Stand up Stand Up stand up fun humor satire farce picnic takeoff drollery hoopla travesty hilarity ball camp jesting joking sitcom laughs funnies grins schtick chaffing gag show play on send-up sadness tragedy Broadway boards climax comedy dramatic art dramatization dramaturgy footlights histrionic art melodrama play production scene show show business showmanship stage show stagecraft tear-jerker theater theatricals thespian art vehicle crisis dramatics emotion excitement histrionics spectacle tension theatrics absurdity broad comedy buffoonery burlesque caricature high camp horseplay interlude joke low camp mock mockery parody pratfall comedy ridiculousness sham skit slapstick curtain-raiser drama entertainment flop hit mask musical one-act opera performance potboiler smash smash hit theatrical turkey act appearance carnival cinema film flick motion picture movie pageant picture presentation showing curiosity demonstration display event exposition extravaganza marvel parade phenomenon representation sight spectacular tableau view wonder Comedy genre Genre radio reporting airing air time announcement announcing ballyhoo billing blasting broadcasting buildup displaying exhibiting exhibition exposition hard sell hoopla hype pitch plug posting proclamation promo promoting promotion publicity puff screamer spread squib advertisement advice briefing broadcast bulletin communication communiqué disclosure dissemination divulgence edict exposing expression intimation message narration news notice notification prediction promulgation publication publishing recitation release report revelation statement circulation diffusion dissipation propagation appearance declaration discovery divulgation issuance issuing pronunciamento public relations ventilation writing advertising attention big noise blurb boost build-up clout commercial currency distribution fame handout ink limelight noise notoriety press press-agentry propaganda public notice puffery pushing réclame scratch spotlight write-up adumbration apocalypse betrayal blow by blow break clue cue display divination divulgement earful epiphany expose exposure exposé eye-opener flash foreshadowing inspiration leak lightning bolt manifestation oracle prophecy scoop showing sign the latest tip uncovering unearthing unveiling vision Broadcasting country Country keith urban kenny chesney tim mcgraw toby keith garth brooks guitar violin love heartache sad happy cheerful continet adjective woods back woods hillbilly Palestine palestine region release freeing liberty absolution acquitting amnesty clearance deliverance discharge discharging dismissal dismissing exculpation exemption exoneration letting off liberation pardon releasing relief from reprieve vindication emancipation escape rescue salvage salvation acquittal disimprisonment parole probation remittance adjournment banishment bounce brush-off cold shoulder congé deportation deposal deposition dislodgment displacement dispossession dissolution door end eviction exile exorcism expatriation expulsion freedom housecleaning kiss-off layoff marching orders notice old heave-ho ostracism ouster permission pink slip relegation removal suspension delivery enfranchisement independence setting free AWOL abdication avoidance beat bolt break breakout bypassing circumvention decampment departure desertion disappearance dodging ducking elopement elusion elusiveness eschewal evasion evasiveness extrication fadeout flight hegira lam leave out outbreak powder retreat runaround shunning sidestepping slip spring withdrawal system design unity harmony format running plan making method pattern whole make-up forming imbalance body league club union team party circle house trade set trust cartel crew squad lodge outfit band clique troupe guild order discord fun acclimation acclimatization alteration arrangement balancing conformance correcting fitting fixing improvement mending modification ordering organization organizing orientation readjustment redress regulating regulation repairing setting shaping standardization turning administering agency application authority charge command conduct conducting control directing direction dispensation disposition distribution enforcement execution governing government guidance handling jurisdiction legislation overseeing oversight performance policy power provision rule strategy superintendence supervision surveillance adjustment agreement compact compromise deal frame-up game plan layout package package deal preparation schedule settlement setup terms alignment array classification combination composition display form grouping lineup pecking order ranging rank sequence structure administration droll silly absurd riot gay gas antic rich jolly blithe clever jocose joking merry witty wise usual sad weird queer aberrant anomalistic anomalous atypical bizarre curious deviant deviate deviating divergent eccentric exceptional extraordinary fantastic funny grody gross heteroclite heterodox heteromorphic irregular odd off-base off-color out of line peculiar preternatural screwy spastic strange uncommon unexpected unnatural unorthodox unusual Mickey Mouse batty boffo camp comical crazy dippy diverting dizzy entertaining facetious farcical flaky fool foolheaded for grins freaky gelastic goofus goofy gump horse's tail humorous ironic jerky jocular joshing laughable light loony ludicrous nutty off the wall priceless ridiculous risible schtick side-splitting wacky waggish whimsical campy clownish comic crack-up gagged up laffer preposterous quaint quizzical abnormal beat bent capricious characteristic cockeyed erratic far out freak freakish funky idiosyncratic kooky oddball off-center offbeat out in left field outlandish quirky singular unconventional way out wild absorbing affecting be a ball captivating charming cheerful cheering compelling delightful enchanting engaging engrossing enjoyable enthralling enticing entrancing exciting fascinating fun impressive inspiring interesting lively moving piquant pleasant pleasurable poignant provocative recreative relaxing restorative rousing scream stimulating stirring striking thrilling amusing capering dry fanciful flip flippant frivolous indecorous irreverent jesting not serious playful pulling one's leg punning putting one on salty sarcastic satirical smart sportive sprightly wisecracking wry Funnies Funny
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