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Kim's Dark Mirror - Lake Dredge Appraisal

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The thrilling conclusion of Lake Dredge Appraisal. A well-preserved painting takes Kim's breath away. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA ...

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The Onion comedy satire news Onion News Network Onion Digital Studios ONN appraisal reality wagon van auto bus ride pickup truck motor wreck buggy bucket jalopy heap jeep coupe junker sedan wheels car chaise charabanc fourwheeler gocart perambulator stage tallyho train vehicle victoria carriage carrying communication machine movement transfer transference transmission transportation carryall crate dump eighteen-wheeler four by eight four by four four-wheel drive freighter lorry rig semi agent automobile bicycle boat cab carrier chariot conveyance mechanism motorcycle taxi transport vector motor car passenger car barouche buckboard caisson camion caravan cart coach dray fourgon gilly schooner tram tumbril wain Car hole crack gap rift gash tear schism split breach cleft rent closing juncture binding bad luck closure blow recess layoff hiatus rest pause lull respite letup caesura lacuna halt cutoff apnea ten energy trouble fight clash rupture dispute peace concord harmony union shot advantage opening chance time luck occasion accident fortune show good luck smash crash burst separate shatter damage crush fracture snap sever demolish trash divide fragment splinter bust part batter shiver total rend torpedo bust up mend unite aid fasten obey cause hide wait fix lose join help attach secure agree allow secret stay violate disobey offend infract regard subdue impair demote refute ruin tame reduce cow rebut assist prove grow raise cut reveal inform convey impart tell cover keep take beat top cap excel outdo fail erupt occur dash fly flee remain face weaken lessen soften expand extend upset beat it bolt break clear out cut and run decamp disappear dog it duck out escape fade fly the coop get go AWOL go south hightail jump leave make a break make off make scarce pull out quit run off scram skedaddle skip out slip sneak away steal away take off vamoose vanish deferment deferral intermission interruption postponement prorogation putting off suspension advancement amelioration betterment boost breakthrough buildup development enrichment furtherance gain go-ahead growth headway increase progress promotion rise step upgrade upping ascendancy asset assistance authority avail blessing boon choice comfort convenience dominance edge eminence expediency favor good gratification hold improvement influence interest lead leeway leg-up leverage mastery odds position power pre-eminence precedence preference prestige prevalence profit protection recognition resources return sanction starting superiority support supremacy upper hand utility wealth T-off abrade agitate ask for it badger be at be on the back of bedevil beleaguer bore bother bug burn up chafe displease distress disturb egg on exasperate fire up gall gnaw harass harry heat up henpeck hit where one lives irk madden make waves miff nag needle nettle nudge peeve perturb pester plague provoke push button ride rile ruffle tease tick off turn off vex work on worry chasm chink eye fissure interstice orifice outlet passage perforation pinhole puncture slash slit slot space vent abscond adjournment advance annoy aperture Break breaks why shery unfair nihilism break-ups bitches cunts whores assholes twats. break up intentions back together clear head relationships girlfriend a break relationship inevitable entry door key route way path road egress outlet swing fit in in with run with adit debut rejection trend mania hobby furor whimsy fancy whim chic sport style humor custom kick quirk vagary rage cry kink thing mode vogue calm hate work force money clout juice fame fix mark sway spell hold drag pull rule ropes weakness source cause origin start hinder cut off disturb suspend halt prevent stop delay hold up impede break heckle obstruct defer intrude cut crash divide separate disjoin stay infringe arrest inject disunite check sever barge in break in butt in horn in bust in chime in crowd in edge in put in work in aid mend link unite allow help push give begin join leave fixer hookup tie knot nexus hitch seam ring member tie-up joint part yoke splice weld piece loop bond copula line party actor aide enemy boss fan freak fad now latest craze glee plan asset weight sense body core wire gist license purport guts pith succor burden security anchor mainstay meat lack bang bug buzz clue cue dope hint inkling news point pointer prompt steer warning whisper word silence exit ignorance admittance approach avenue connection contact course entrance entree entrée ingress introduction open arms open door passage be a member be a member of be allied to be associated with be classified among be contained in be included in be one of be one of the family be part of have a place owe allegiance owe support swing with take one's place with access admission importation incoming induction affectation amusement caprice conceit dernier cri eccentricity fantasy fashion fool notion frivolity in thing innovation latest word new look newest wrinkle passing fancy passion wrinkle agency ascendancy character command connections consequence control credit direction domination dominion effect esteem grease guidance impact importance imprint leadership leverage magnetism moment monopoly network notoriety predominance prerogative pressure prestige prominence repercussion reputation significance supremacy break off break train of thought come between cut in on cut short disconnect discontinue get in the way insinuate lay aside punctuate shortstop belong influence interrupt ins I.N.S. INS Ins inz in&39;s in their pants have sex with hook up with doood dood dddddddod dooddd foareck acronym norwegian ikke noe spess insurgency counterstrike steam mod cash mulah de-nero chedda wanton unbridled prevalent raging spreading flagrant rife violent growing excessive unchecked clamorous dominant epidemic exuberant fanatical furious impetuous impulsive luxuriant profuse rank riotous turbulent unruly vehement wild pandemic rampaging moral gentle mild accepted accustomed afoot circulating common knowledge customary cutting-edge doing existent extant fad fashionable general going around hot in circulation in progress in the mainstream in the news in use in vogue instant leading-edge mod modern now on front burner ongoing popular present present-day prevailing rampant regnant ruling state-of-the-art swinging topical trendy up-to-date widespread catching communicable contagious endemic infectious sweeping wide-ranging at the boiling point bursting charged consequential convulsive detonating detonative ebullient eruptive fiery forceful frenzied fulminant fulminating hazardous meteoric overwrought perilous stormy tense touchy ugly uncontrollable unstable abundant affluent copious diffuse effusive exaggerated fecund fertile fruitful fulsome lavish lush opulent overdone overflowing plenteous plentiful prodigal prolific rich superabundant superfluous teeming blooming burgeoning doing well expanding going strong in full swing in the pink in top form mushrooming prosperous roaring robust successful thriving vigorous agitated berserk beside oneself blazing carried away crazed crazy delirious distracted distraught emotional frantic fuming impassioned in a fit incensed irrepressible mad maddened nervous neurotic panic-stricken passionate possessed rabid raving seething spasmodic tempestuous uncontrolled unnerved unrestrained uproarious worked up current explosive flourishing hysterical Rampant Germantown germantown Germantown germantown force man corps pig blue law badge bear heat bull cop bobby fuzz gumshoe copper fed oink narc align array class classify clear the decks dispose file fix up form group line up methodize organize police police up position put in good shape put in order put to rights range rank regulate sort spruce spruce up systematize tidy whip into shape attend baby-sit bulwark chaperon chaperone conduct convoy cover cover up defend escort fend keep keep an eye on keep in view keep under surveillance look after lookout mind observe oversee patrol preserve ride shotgun for safeguard save screen secure see after shelter shepherd shield shotgun stonewall superintend supervise tend Sherlock Holmes agent analyst attorney auditor detective examiner hound inquirer inspector plainclothes officer private detective private eye prosecutor researcher reviewer sleuth snooper spy tester undercover cop arm black and white captain centurion deputy flatfoot mounty noncom police officer sergeant sheriff cruise inspect keep guard keep vigil keep watch make the rounds mount pound ride shotgun walk the beat watch clean frame get act together groom neaten order pull together put in shape shape up straighten straighten up tauten arrange guard investigator officer Police pigs popo assholes fuckers dicks cops crime wu tang clan law enforcement state patrol annoying fly buzz wagon van auto bus ride pickup truck motor wreck buggy bucket jalopy heap jeep coupe junker sedan wheels car chaise charabanc fourwheeler gocart perambulator stage tallyho train vehicle victoria carriage carrying communication machine movement transfer transference transmission transportation carryall crate dump eighteen-wheeler four by eight four by four four-wheel drive freighter lorry rig semi agent automobile bicycle boat cab carrier chariot conveyance mechanism motorcycle taxi transport vector motor car passenger car barouche buckboard caisson camion caravan cart coach dray fourgon gilly schooner tram tumbril wain Car burglary robbery break-in breaking and entering caper crime filching heist housebreaking larceny owl job pilferage prowl safecracking second-story work sting theft thieving five-finger discount holdup rip-off stickup arrest assault bust capture descent foray forced entrance hit-and-run incursion inroad invasion irruption onset onslaught pull reconnaissance roundup sally shootup sortie surprise attack sweep tipover embezzlement felony hit job looting mortal sin mugging purse-snatching thievery unlawful act wrongdoing annexation appropriation cheating defrauding deprivation extortion filch fleece fraud grab hustle lift peculation pilfering pillage pinch piracy plunder purloining racket rapacity robbing score shoplifting snatch snitch steal swindle swindling swiping touch vandalism break and entry burglarizing raid Breakin breakin break in fraud piracy heist holdup crime snitch racket touch caper score hustle snatch job fleece pinch lift grab steal filch lot gift appropriation kidnapping rape seizure theft break-in breaking and entering filching housebreaking larceny owl job pilferage prowl robbery safecracking second-story work sting thieving bootlegging counterfeiting dealing goods moonshine plunder poaching rum-running smuggling stuff swag trafficking violation wetbacking burglary desecration desolation despoiling laying waste marauding pillage ransacking rapine ravaging sacking spoliation stealing wasting abstraction defalcation misapplication misappropriation misuse peculation pilfering purloining skimming abduction contraband depredation embezzlement Theft walmart shoplifting store sears mall taking thievery sportway stealer rob thief wife right onion ONION onions wet drip basketball raftery hoops ounce lid lac zip clone brain mini laptop CPU mac mainframe abacus analog micro binary exponent fraction integral numeral numerary alphabetic automated adding machine artificial intelligence calculator data processor digital electronic brain microcomputer minicomputer number cruncher personal computer thinking machine algebraic algorithmic arithmetic arithmetical differential exponential fractional logarithm logarithmic mathematical statistical cybernated programmed integrated numerical computer numeric computerized Digital salon shop den TV room entertaining family room library media room playroom rec room recreation room rumpus room studio exhibit exhibition room hall museum showroom wing apartment attic dormer garret storage flat garden apartment small apartment atelier establishment factory laboratory mill plant foundry works gallery loft studio apartment workshop Studio location locations settings music producer record deal architecture architects college loose pussy slopy vagina giant cunt enormous snatch fat cave confess explain affirm divulge publish tell inform admit declare concede report announce expose avow leak proclaim broadcast betray unfold impart utter talk notify give away let on give out let fall let out let slip make known make plain deny hide refuse reject keep cover flash bare open bury accustom advise apprise bring out clue come out with disclose enlighten familiarize fill in fix up get together habituate intro introduce knock down let know make familiar post present reveal warn accept accord acquiesce adopt agree allow approve bring to light communicate concur confide confirm consent cop a plea credit enumerate go into details grant indicate let narrate number open up own own up permit profess recite recognize relate spill subscribe to tolerate uncover unveil yield acquaint advance ballyhoo beat the drum for bill blazon boost build up circularize display drum endorse exhibit flaunt get on soapbox for hard sell herald hype make a pitch pitch plug press agent promote promulgate puff push put on the map show soft sell splash sponsor spot tout unmask circulate disseminate make public publicize put speak state ventilate voice advertise annunciate blast call intimate issue pass the word propound release run off at mouth sound off spread around trumpet blurt out dime evince fink on lay bare manifest rat on sing snitch squeal stool tattle tell on turn in air Reveals late modern unusual current strange unique recent latest modish novel now topical unknown unlike untried unused virgin dewy like usual future worn old normal common past fresh other more another else extra farther further added improved altered changed renewed revived newly anew affixed appended increased new on the side option over-and-above padding perk spare supplementary afresh another time come again de novo from scratch from the beginning in a different way in a new way lately once again once more one more time over over again recently a distinct a further a separate one more some other that beat experimental head hip innovative lead leading-edge liberal new wave pioneering progressive radical state-of-the-art vanguard dubious flaky mostly working pre-release suspect testing unready bare barren clean empty pale plain spotless uncompleted unfilled unmarked untouched vacant vacuous virginal void white additional avant-garde beta blank N.E.W. New clueless unknowing unaware lost incoherrent hell purgatory fire brimstone satan maltby dowtin tooheys new newy beer australian beer tallie feed set poll book draft slate edit bill list enter scatter forget cancel let go neglect artificial intelligence computer technology computer-aided learning computer-aided testing cybernetics data processing information retrieval information technology neural networks operating systems programming programming languages robotics simulation systems analysis bespeak charter engage enroll hire line up make reservation order organize pencil in preengage procure program reserve schedule set up sew up accustom brainwash build up educate equip habituate inure loosen up make ready modify practice ready shape up sharpen tone up toughen up train warm up whip into shape work out work over boot up compute computerize crunch numbers digitize initialize input key in keyboard load log in log out run break down communicate drill drum into hammer into impart impress indoctrinate inseminate instill instruct plant teach convince ground imbue implant inculcate influence initiate school computer science condition download Programming programing coding code software engineering computer programming computer symbol character computer communication nerdy smart cool easy 2012 upfront The Onion The Onions comic sudden tense affecting breathtaking climactic dramaturgic dramaturgical effective electrifying emotional expressive farcical histrionic impressive melodramatic powerful sensational spectacular startling striking suspenseful the histrionical The kim Kim adorable epic maybe five chuck norris kimmy kimothy chuck kimberley kimberly hot sexy whore slut hotbody kimm kimmeh kimberlee cim kym kyn cym hot babe love awesome the best bff obsessive dim misty murky dingy black drab foggy dull faint dusk dusky grimy inky lurid shady sooty vague dun unlit joyful vivid moral bright clear light good smart sunny happy clean lucid plain tan brunet ebony sable swarthy ebon swart deep occult mystic arcane knotty somber gloomy bleak dismal morbid morose nice bad foul vile honest just unread sulky dour glum sullen shade gloom evening opacity night dimness murk shadows day sense thickness secrecy seclusion denseness cheerless comfortless dark discouraging disheartening drear dreary funereal grim hard harsh hopeless joyless lonely melancholy mournful oppressive sad unpromising amaurotic blind as a bat destitute of vision eyeless groping in darkness purblind typhlotic undiscerning unseeing unsighted visionless blocked closed closed at one end concealed dead-end disguised impassable leading nowhere obscured obstructed secluded unmarked without egress without exit austere blue dejected dejecting depressed desolate despondent disconsolate dispiriting dolorous draggy drearisome forlorn in the dumps jarring miserable mopey sorrowful tenebrific uncomfortable wintry woebegone woeful bankrupt fastened folded gone fishing locked not open out of business out of order padlocked sealed shut down blurred confused dense emulsified heavy indefinite indistinct leaden lowering mucky muddy mushy nebulous nontranslucent nontransparent not clear nubilous obscure opaque overcast sunless vaporous blind cloudy Dark darks speculum gaper imager depict echo typify mimic embody follow show double image glass affect caricature copy counterfeit ditto do like emulate go like imitate impersonate make like mirror mock parody parrot take off travesty Photostat Xerox archetype carbon carbon copy cast clone counterpart ectype effigy ersatz facsimile forgery hard copy impersonation impression imprint likeness microfiche mimeograph miniature model offprint parallel pattern photocopy photograph portrait print reflection replica replication representation reprint reproduction rubbings similarity simulacrum simulation study tracing transcript transcription type cartoon delineate draw dupe engrave engross fake forge knock off limn manifold mimeo mold paint paraphrase picture plagiarize portray reduplicate reflect repeat replicate represent reproduce rewrite sculpture simulate sketch stat trace transcribe act like ape burlesque do a take-off epitomize follow example follow suit illustrate incarnate personify phony pirate play a role prefigure sham steal take leaf out of book do a takeoff do again dualize make replica make twofold multiply redo redouble remake repro rework take off as answer imitation mirror image onomatopoeia parroting rebound reiteration repercussion repetition reply reverberation ringing rubber stamp duplicate Mirror pool pond basin lagoon creek spring sluice mouth mere loch tarn bath lake millpond mud puddle natatorium puddle splash swimming pool tank backlog cistern container fund holder nest egg receptacle reserve source stock stockpile storage store supply Davy Jones's locker abundance blue bounding main brine briny briny deep deep drink expanse main multitude number ocean plethora profusion sheet surf swell waves reservoir sea Lake lakes widen clean raise dig up absterge bath bathe blot brush cauterize clarify cleanse clear the decks clear up deodorize depurate deterge disinfect do up dredge dust edulcorate elutriate erase expunge expurgate flush hackle launder lave mop neaten pick pick up polish purge purify rake rasp refine rinse rout out sanitize scald scour scrape scrub shake out shampoo soak soap sponge spruce up sterilize straighten up swab sweep tidy up vacuum wash whisk winnow wipe dig dig out excavate expand extend hollow scoop out scrape out burrow examine explore ferret out go into gouge out inquire investigate jump into leave no stone unturned look into probe prospect ransack really get into research rummage search seek shovel sift spade trowel turn inside out unearth bore break up bulldoze cat channel concave deepen depress dig down discover drill drive enter exhume fork out gouge grub harvest hoe mine penetrate pierce pit produce quarry root root out rout sap scoop till tunnel turn over uncover undermine bail bale bucket decant dish draft off draw draw out handle lade lift offer reach into spoon strain besprinkle cover powder scatter spray spread delve dip DrEDGE Dredge survey opinion stock pricing rating admiration aesthetic sense affection appraisal assessment attraction awareness cognizance commendation comprehension enjoyment esteem estimation grasp high regard knowledge liking love perception realization recognition regard relish respect responsivenesss sensibility sensitiveness sensitivity sympathy understanding valuation evaluation examination inspection investigation measurement test trial computation determination estimate judgment reckoning value judgment charge demand duty fee levy rate tariff tax taxation toll alternative choosing cull cup of tea decision discretion discrimination distinction druthers election extract favorite finding free will opportunity option pick preference say substitute variety verdict volition vote weakness appreciation comment commentary critique elucidation essay exposition notice observation pan rave review reviewal scorcher sideswipe sleighride study write-up assay choice criticism fun humor satire farce picnic takeoff drollery hoopla travesty hilarity ball camp jesting joking sitcom laughs funnies grins schtick chaffing gag show play on send-up sadness tragedy Broadway boards climax comedy dramatic art dramatization dramaturgy footlights histrionic art melodrama play production scene show show business showmanship stage show stagecraft tear-jerker theater theatricals thespian art vehicle crisis dramatics emotion excitement histrionics spectacle tension theatrics absurdity broad comedy buffoonery burlesque caricature high camp horseplay interlude joke low camp mock mockery parody pratfall comedy ridiculousness sham skit slapstick curtain-raiser drama entertainment flop hit mask musical one-act opera performance potboiler smash smash hit theatrical turkey act appearance carnival cinema film flick motion picture movie pageant picture presentation showing curiosity demonstration display event exposition extravaganza marvel parade phenomenon representation sight spectacular tableau view wonder Comedy lolcat funny meme caturday cat comedian comic art form of funny turtlehead comedy matt sorrentino dead dull trash arrested development jason bateman wil arnett boosh comedienne irony skit wit spoof squib seriousness burly caricature farce lampoon lampoonery mock mockery parody pastiche peep show revue satire send-up strip takeoff travesty vaudeville burlesque cartoon distortion imitation libel mimicry pasquinade put-on ridicule sham animation comic strip drawing representation sketch ball camp chaffing comic drama comicality comicalness drollery drollness facetiousness field day fun fun and games funnies funniness gag show grins high camp high time hilarity hoopla humor humorousness interlude jesting joking laughs light entertainment merry-go-round picnic play on schtick sitcom slapstick wisecracking witticism wittiness Bronx cheer backhanded compliment brickbat butt comeback contempt contumely crack dig disdain disparagement dump jab jest joke laughingstock laughter object of ridicule parting shot pilgarlic put-down raillery scoffing scorn slam slap sneering adumbration allegory alliteration allusion analogue analogy anaphora anticlimax antistrophe antithesis aposiopesis apostrophe asyndeton bathos comparison conceit device echoism ellipsis euphemism euphuism exaggeration expression flourish flower hyperbole image imagery litotes malapropism manner of speaking metaphor metonymy onomatopoeia ornament oxymoron parable paradox parallel personification proteron rhetoric sarcasm simile synecdoche trope tropology turn of phrase understatement way of speaking comedy derision figure of speech Satire story word advice account report message data rumor hearsay telegram tidings dispatch telecast scandal leak telling copy cable recital scoop release bulletin exposé lowdown silence truth history admonition advisement advocacy aid bum steer caution charge consultation counsel directions dissuasion encouragement exhortation forewarning guidance help information injunction input instruction judgment lesson news opinion persuasion prescription proposal proposition recommendation steer suggestion teaching telltale tip tip-off two cents' worth view warning word to the wise advertisement briefing broadcast broadcasting communication communiqué disclosure dissemination divulgence edict exposing exposition expression intimation narration notice notification prediction promulgation publication publishing recitation reporting revelation statement announcement break calendar flash handout hot wire item list news flash program skinny the dope what's going down what's happening comment cry grapevine rumble scuttlebutt talk whisper conversation converse declaration directive excerpt goods hot story ideas info inside story intelligence language missive note pipeline poop prophecy précis publicity speech summary translation utterance work buzz intimate intelligence juicy morsel the lowdown dirt NEWS whiner complainer&39;s bitching piss&moaning gossiping bad news newspaper obituaries war politics propoganda hollywood reality lies as truth rich promotion club upper class upper pay story word advice account report message data rumor hearsay telegram tidings dispatch telecast scandal leak telling copy cable recital scoop release bulletin exposé lowdown silence truth history admonition advisement advocacy aid bum steer caution charge consultation counsel directions dissuasion encouragement exhortation forewarning guidance help information injunction input instruction judgment lesson news opinion persuasion prescription proposal proposition recommendation steer suggestion teaching telltale tip tip-off two cents' worth view warning word to the wise advertisement briefing broadcast broadcasting communication communiqué disclosure dissemination divulgence edict exposing exposition expression intimation narration notice notification prediction promulgation publication publishing recitation reporting revelation statement announcement break calendar flash handout hot wire item list news flash program skinny the dope what's going down what's happening comment cry grapevine rumble scuttlebutt talk whisper conversation converse declaration directive excerpt goods hot story ideas info inside story intelligence language missive note pipeline poop prophecy précis publicity speech summary translation utterance work buzz intimate intelligence juicy morsel the lowdown dirt NEWS web chain system grid net nexus plexus wattle fabric complex maze fiber mesh artery weave grill hookup jungle netting wiring tracks disorganization mingle meet hobnob avoid divide admix alloy ally coalesce combine come together compound consolidate fuse hook up with incorporate integrate interface intermix join together meld merge network pool team up tie in tie up unite bureaucracy chain of command hierarchy setup structure band binding connection cord fastening fetter gunk handcuff irons ligature link linkage manacle rope shackle stickum tie tie-in wire affiliation affinity attachment connective friendship interrelationship liaison marriage obligation relationship restraint union gossamer labyrinth snare tissue toil webbing amalgamate associate bind blend bond bracket bunch up coadjute commingle conjoin cooperate couple dub get together glue oneself to hitch on hook on join league marry mix plug into put together relate slap on stand in with synthesize tack on tag on team up with throw in together tie up with unify wed apparatus cobweb Network Net-Work social facebook david fincher movie Onns survey opinion stock pricing rating admiration aesthetic sense affection appraisal assessment attraction awareness cognizance commendation comprehension enjoyment esteem estimation grasp high regard knowledge liking love perception realization recognition regard relish respect responsivenesss sensibility sensitiveness sensitivity sympathy understanding valuation evaluation examination inspection investigation measurement test trial computation determination estimate judgment reckoning value judgment charge demand duty fee levy rate tariff tax taxation toll alternative choosing cull cup of tea decision discretion discrimination distinction druthers election extract favorite finding free will opportunity option pick preference say substitute variety verdict volition vote weakness appreciation comment commentary critique elucidation essay exposition notice observation pan rave review reviewal scorcher sideswipe sleighride study write-up assay choice criticism matter truth realism presence being entity deed solidity object validity realness verity idea theory belief achievement actualization attainment brass tacks fact materiality materialization real world reality straight stuff substance substantiality what it is actuality animation journey life living subsistence vitality world basis conclusion core crux determination essence fiber final decision fundamentals income key point last word loss main idea main point main thing meat and potatoes name of the game net nitty-gritty nuts and bolts point profit sum and substance what it's all about whole story consequence foregone conclusion inevitable result sure thing surety accomplishment act action adventure ballgame big idea bit byplay cause commission crusade enterprise exploit feat follow through game happenin' performance plan quest securing stunt thing tour de force winning clout drift effectiveness efficacy efficiency enforcement execution force implementation import imprint influence mark meaning power purport purpose sense significance strength tenor use vigor weight bottom line certainty effect Reality
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