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Middle-Aged Woman Angrily Demanding Price Check Was Once Carefree Youth, Onlookers Speculate

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Shoppers at a Hannaford supermarket could only speculate that a woman angrily asking for a price check on a four-ounce snack cup was once a free-spirited ...

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The Onion comedy satire news Onion News Network ONN Onion Special Report writer cub scribe anchor editor anchorperson broadcaster communicator deejay disc jockey leader of ceremonies newscaster reporter rip and reader spieler talker telecaster veejay biographer columnist composer creator essayist ghost ghostwriter ink slinger journalist originator playwright poet producer prose writer scribbler scripter word slinger wordsmith work-for-hire contributor epistler epistolarian freelancer gazetteer letter writer pen pal stringer P. I. Sherlock Holmes agent analyst bird dog bloodhound bull constable cop dick eavesdropper eye fed fink flatfoot gumshoe informer nark peeper plainclothes officer police officer private eye private investigator prosecutor roper scout sergeant shadow shamus shoofly sleuth slewfoot snoop spy tail adviser bearer courier crier forerunner harbinger indication outrider precursor prophet runner sign signal token accuser announcer betrayer blabbermouth canary deep throat double-crosser herald interviewer messenger newscaster/newsperson notifier preacher propagandist rat sneak source stool pigeon tattler tattletale author correspondent detective informant Reporter force energy pep snap vigor life zest starch bang moxie oomph tuck verve drive push birr weakness idleness laziness lethargy apathy dullness shot bid pop turn stab slap fly retire travel move leave pass progress flee fare repair hightail lam depart quit wend escape mosey near journey exit hie withdraw cruise decamp approach vamoose abscond split beat it get off pull out push off take off bug out get away get lost make for move out push on run away set off skip out wait face stay stop come enter break work run act cease halt fail lose lead make reach range vary cover fit obey serve tend avail wax occur cause set like enjoy conform accord square belong mesh jibe suit chime blend relish match hate refuse create differ finish give drop spend bend worsen cave weaken perish devour demise expend waste yield expire use up store hoard keep earn bear gather build begin start save hold lapse flow take allow stand brook let abide shun argument beef bickering blowup bone of contention brawl brush combat contest controversy dispute embroilment flap fracas fuss hassle quarrel row rumble run-in set-to squabbling tiff words wrangle attitude concept course crack fling idea lick manner means method mode modus operandi new wrinkle offer procedure program style technique way whack wrinkle altercation bone bone to pick brannigan clash crusher debate difference of opinion disagreement donnybrook dustup exchange face-off falling feud finisher gin knock down and drag out knockdown out rhubarb romp ruckus ruction rumpus scene scrap shindy spat squabble static stew talking heads all one's got attack dry run endeavor exertion experiment header one's all one's darnedest one's level best pursuit striving struggle trial try tryout undertaking venture workout action bechance betide chance come down come off come to pass cook cook up a storm cook with gas develop ensue fall fall out follow gel go down hap happen jell materialize shake smoke supervene transpire agree appertain apply associate attach to be a component be a constituent be a part be akin be an adjunct of be connected with be fitting be linked with be related be relevant bear upon become befit concern correlate correspond exist go with harmonize have relationship to have respect to have to do with inhere permeate pertain refer regard reside touch vest attempt befall goes g.o tite cool hyphy stupid hot tight awesome the bomb slaps hookers common knowledge legit prestige worldwide getwithit to fuck to date to go out with casual sex flirtation fight fisticuffs battle peace covert creep furtive hidden private stealth stealthy sub-rosa open artful cloak-and-dagger closet concealed foxy fraudulent hush-hush illegitimate illicit in holes and corners on the Q. T. on the quiet sneaky surreptitious under wraps under-the-counter undercover underground underhand buried camouflaged cloaked disguised dissembled incog incognito masked obscured privy secret shrouded sub rosa ulterior under-the-table unsuspected veiled by stealth clandestinely furtively in camera on the QT on the sly privately secretly slyly stealthily surreptitiously wildcat changed covered fake false feigned pretend calculating cautious circumspect clandestine conspiratorial crafty creepy cunning elusive evasive guileful insidious scheming shifty skulking slinking sly tricky underhanded wily abstruse close clouded cryptic dark eclipsed esoteric hermetic hermetical imperceivable in the dark indiscernible invisible latent mysterious mystic mystical obscure occult out of view recondite screened secluded sequestered shadowy undetected undisclosed unexposed unknown unrevealed withheld covertly Undercover's Undercover Chinatown chinatown draining carking crushing demanding difficult disturbing exacting exigent heavy irksome onerous oppressive superincumbent taxing tough trying wearing wearying weighty ambitious backbreaker bothersome clamorous critical dictatorial exhausting fussy grievous hard imperious importunate insistent nagging pressing querulous strict stringent troublesome arduous backbreaking burdensome complicated difficile distressing effortful fatiguing formidable grinding hairy herculean intricate involved knotty labored laborious mean merciless murder operose rigorous rough rugged scabrous serious severe slavish sticky strenuous terrible tiring toilful toilsome unsparing uphill uphill battle wearisome forced ponderous rough go stiff strained tiresome tough job wicked enervating punishing sapping stressful tedious a bit much annoying boresome boring drag dragging drudging dull enervative flat hefty ho-hum humdrum jading monotonous nowhere tired too much uncool uninteresting unrelieved vexatious yawn Wearing fiber tulle handkerchief kerchief neckerchief silk cottony delicate glossy like silk luxurious plush satiny silken sleek soft tender velvety cord cotton filament flax floss ligature lint lisle pile ravel raveling stamen staple strand string thrum twine warp weft wire woof wool yarn bandanna silky thread silks Silk Silks SILK frock garment costume dress mantle habit wrapper outfit cape kimono muumuu accoutrement array attire clothes drapery duds equipment garb gear getup habiliment raiment rig robe suit threads trapping vestment accouter apparel bedizen bedrape breech bundle up caparison cloak coat dandify deck disguise dizen do up drape dress up dud endow endue enwrap equip fit fit out gown guise habilitate invest jacket livery primp spruce suit up swaddle swathe tog turn out vest Sunday best accouterment attirement civvies covering dry goods ensemble evening clothes pinafore shift skirt smock things toga toggery trappings uniform wardrobe adorn bedeck change clad clothe cover decorate don embellish furbish ornament 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story word advice account report message data rumor hearsay telegram tidings dispatch telecast scandal leak telling copy cable recital scoop release bulletin exposé lowdown silence truth history admonition advisement advocacy aid bum steer caution charge consultation counsel directions dissuasion encouragement exhortation forewarning guidance help information injunction input instruction judgment lesson news opinion persuasion prescription proposal proposition recommendation steer suggestion teaching telltale tip tip-off two cents' worth view warning word to the wise advertisement briefing broadcast broadcasting communication communiqué disclosure dissemination divulgence edict exposing exposition expression intimation narration notice notification prediction promulgation publication publishing recitation reporting revelation statement announcement break calendar flash handout hot wire item list news flash program skinny the dope what's going down what's happening comment cry grapevine rumble scuttlebutt talk whisper conversation converse declaration directive excerpt goods hot story ideas info inside story intelligence language missive note pipeline poop prophecy précis publicity speech summary translation utterance work buzz intimate intelligence juicy morsel the lowdown dirt NEWS story word advice account report message data rumor hearsay telegram tidings dispatch telecast scandal leak telling copy cable recital scoop release bulletin exposé lowdown silence truth history admonition advisement advocacy aid bum steer caution charge consultation counsel directions dissuasion encouragement exhortation forewarning guidance help information injunction input instruction judgment lesson news opinion persuasion prescription proposal proposition recommendation steer suggestion teaching telltale tip tip-off two cents' worth view warning word to the wise advertisement briefing broadcast broadcasting communication communiqué disclosure dissemination divulgence edict exposing exposition expression intimation narration notice notification prediction promulgation publication publishing recitation reporting revelation statement announcement break calendar flash handout hot wire item list news flash program skinny the dope what's going down what's happening comment cry grapevine rumble scuttlebutt talk whisper conversation converse declaration directive excerpt goods hot story ideas info inside story intelligence language missive note pipeline poop prophecy précis publicity speech summary translation utterance work buzz intimate intelligence juicy morsel the lowdown dirt NEWS web chain system grid net nexus plexus wattle fabric complex maze fiber mesh artery weave grill hookup jungle netting wiring tracks disorganization mingle meet hobnob avoid divide admix alloy ally coalesce combine come together compound consolidate fuse hook up with incorporate integrate interface intermix join together meld merge network pool team up tie in tie up unite bureaucracy chain of command hierarchy setup structure band binding connection cord fastening fetter gunk handcuff irons ligature link linkage manacle rope shackle stickum tie tie-in wire affiliation affinity attachment connective friendship interrelationship liaison marriage obligation relationship restraint union gossamer labyrinth snare tissue toil webbing amalgamate associate bind blend bond bracket bunch up coadjute commingle conjoin cooperate couple dub get together glue oneself to hitch on hook on join league marry mix plug into put together relate slap on stand in with synthesize tack on tag on team up with throw in together tie up with unify wed apparatus cobweb Network Net-Work Onns medium center average median mean inside between halfway inner medial mezzo midmost outer border heart midst core waist media deep focus marrow thick midriff outside margin bay window belly bowels breadbasket corporation gut guts intestines middle midsection paunch pot potbelly spare tire tummy venter viscera intermediate midpoint norm par rule standard usual axial basic cardinal centric centroidal chief dominant equidistant essential focal foremost fundamental important inmost interior key leading master mid middlemost midway nuclear omphalic outstanding overriding paramount pivotal predominant primary prime radical ruling salient significant umbilical amount base basis body bottom line bulk burden consequence corpus crux essence foundation import importance kernel main idea mass meat meat and potatoes nitty gritty nub nucleus origin pith pivot purport quick root significance staple substance thrust upshot Davy Jones's locker Poseidon's realm blue brine briny drink main ocean the high seas abdomen central middles Middle elderly antique gray ancient shot worn passé rusty age-old oldie creaky young new fresh aged antediluvian antiquated archaic back number been around bygone early few miles on fossil hoary lot of mileage moth-eaten obsolete old goat old-fashioned older out-of-date outmoded primal primeval primordial relic remote superannuated timeworn venerable worse for wear primitive dated fusty moldy obsolescent old old hat old-fangled outworn outdated prehistoric anile battered bedraggled broken-down crippled dilapidated doddering effete feeble flimsy fragile frail haggard incapacitated infirm insubstantial quavering ramshackle rickety run-down seedy senile shabby shaking tacky threadbare tired tottering tumble-down unsound used wasted weak weakly weather-beaten worn-out aging declining long in tooth no spring chicken olden on last leg over the hill retired antiquarian decrepit girl wife mother matron spouse she aunt niece man bluejacket boater boatman/woman deck hand mariner mate middy midshipman/woman old salt pirate sailorman/woman sea dog seafarer swabbie yachtsman/woman gentleperson grownup person woman animal body brute creation critter fellow individual living being living thing lower animal mortal party personage quadruped soul varmint colleen lady lass lassie miss virgin young girl young woman female offspring offspring earth dweller humankind tellurian seaman adult creature damsel daughter earthling Woman Women women madly sharply wildly hotly crisply crossly irately testily mildly calmly softly gently angrily awfully boldly brutally ferociously forcefully forcibly frantically frenziedly frighteningly furiously hard horribly impetuously in a frenzy irresistibly like cats and dogs maleficiently malevolently malignly mightily monstrous no holds barred passionately riotously roughly savagely severely stormily tempestuously terribly threateningly tigerishly tooth and nail turbulently uncontrollably vehemently venomously viciously with bared teeth actively animatedly boisterously briskly cruelly earnestly energetically fiercely heavily intensely keenly like fury meanly painfully powerfully relentlessly rigorously rowdily seriously spiritedly sprightly strongly tumultously/tumultuously uproariously urgently vigorously violently vivaciously with all one's might bitterly shrilly bitingly impolitely uncivilly hysterically scathingly sourly tough taxing hard strict trying fussy trivial inexact facile easy nice mild simple avaricious avid covetous demanding desirous grabbing grabby grasping greedy predatory prehensile rapacious arduous bold challenging difficult elaborate energetic exacting formidable grandiose impressive industrious lofty pretentious severe strenuous visionary absolute assured certain confident decided decisive dogmatic domineering emphatic firm forceful forward insistent militant overbearing positive pushy self-assured self-confident strong-willed sure carking crushing disturbing exigent heavy irksome onerous oppressive superincumbent wearing wearying weighty acrimonious cantankerous carping caviling cavillous censorious contrary crabby cross deprecating disparaging exceptive fault-finding finicky hypercritical irritable nagging nit-picking overcritical peevish perverse petulant sarcastic testy touchy claiming confrontation dare defiance demur interrogation objection protest provocation remonstrance summons to contest test threat trial ultimatum acquisitive ambitious assertive burdensome captious challenge fare pay fee figure bill amount worth return rate cost demand output tariff barter tab wages ransom damage charge score bounty retail toll ticket tune hire outlay prize reward dues cause fix reduce value adjudge assay assess audit calculate check check out deem evaluate examine eye figure in figure out gauge guesstimate have one's number inspect look over peg price read review set at size survey take account of valuate advance declaration feeler hit invitation offer pass proffer proposal proposition request submission suggestion sum summons tender allurement bait blackmail buyoff compensation contract corrupt money corrupting gift enticement envelope feedbag fringe benefit gift goody graft gratuity gravy grease hush money ice incentive inducement influence peddling kickback lagniappe lure payola perk perquisite present protection remuneration sop sweetener sweetening take bad news bite expenditure expense nick payment price tag squeeze tick fix price at impose levy require sell for arm and a leg bottom dollar bottom line disbursement line nut setback top dollar appraise bid bribe PRICE Price checkup audit review control inquiry test rein poll aid help blow reverse holdup harness curb damper setback trouble grunt rebuff boost plaid quilt tartan probe monitor confirm verify correct try analyze study case count compare prove quiz note frisk candle tell look at eyeball guess allow halt stop reduce arrest thwart snub tame delay retard stay baffle foil pause impede bit hold bar choke limit bridle abet open free break off call it quits call off check cut off drop end fail interrupt knock it off lay off nullify scrap scratch scrub terminate IOU bad news balance bill book books charge computation cuff inventory invoice ledger reckoning record register report score statement tab tally advise berate call down call on the carpet censure chide come down hard on counsel ding draw the line enjoin exhort forewarn give a going over glue growl hoist jack up notice rap rap on knuckles rebuke reprimand reprove scold sit on slap on wrist speak to talk to tell a thing or two tell off upbraid warn accede acknowledge acquiesce admit be of the same mind bury the hatchet buy into clinch the deal come to terms comply concede concur consent cut a deal engage give blessing give carte blanche give green light give the go-ahead go along with grant make a deal okay pass on permit play ball recognize see eye to eye set settle shake on side with sign subscribe take one up on yes adjudge assay assess calculate check out deem evaluate examine eye figure figure in figure out gauge guesstimate have one's number inspect look over peg price rate read set at size survey take account of valuate value blockage cessation checking hindrance inhibition interruption obstruction prevention restraining restraint stalling staying stoppage suppression suspension abort account admonish agree appraise Checks Check checks last move rest stay live act hold cease idle lose pass stop leave quit die halt befall occur abide be contained in be expressed by be found in dwell inhere lie repose subsist be left be long lived be timeless bide carry on carry through cling exist go on hang on have no end hold on hold out keep on linger live on never say die outlast outlive perdure persist prevail remain ride out run on stand stay on stick to superannuate survive sustain wear wear on wear well be extant be latent be present breathe continue endure happen obtain be beside be buried be established be even be fixed be found be interred be level be located be on be placed be seated be smooth belong beset extend have its seat in occupy reach spread stretch be alive draw breath get along get by have life lead maintain make it remain alive consist was WAS W.A.S. already formerly earlier late before back bygone old one sometime quondam but once long ago time was whilom later future as of now at present before now but now by now by that time by the time mentioned by then by this time even now heretofore in the past just now now once previously then up to now anyhow at all at any rate ever however in any case in any event in any manner nevertheless one-time past preceding previous above aforementioned aforesaid ancient antecedent anterior departed erstwhile ex- first foregoing long gone of yore prior a while back aforetime anciently at one time away back back when before this down memory lane eons ago erewhile in former times in the olden days lately of old olden days once upon a time radically some time ago used to be water under the bridge asleep cold deceased defunct exanimate extinct former inanimate lifeless onetime anyway Once ONCE breezy jovial cheery jaunty happy airy blithe buoyant calm cool easy radiant secure sunny at ease sad animated carefree cheerful chirpy gay gladsome gleeful jocund jolly joyful lighthearted merry mirthful sprightly vivacious casual debonair easy-going effervescent free and easy informal light lively low-pressure peppy racy relaxed sparkling spicy spirited unconstrained bouncy bright elastic expansive full of zip invigorated laid back resilient supple comfortable comfy commodious composed content contented cozy cursive cushy easeful effortless flowing fluent forthright gentle in clover languid mild moderate peaceful pleasant prosperous quiet running satisfied serene slow smooth snug soft spontaneous substantial successful temperate thriving tranquil undemanding undisturbed unexacting unhurried untroubled unworried well-to-do affable amiable complaisant diplomatic familiar friendly good-natured good-tempered graceful gracious gregarious natural obliging open polite sociable suave tolerant unaffected unanxious unforced unpretentious urbane amenable collected devil-may-care even-tempered flexible hang-loose happy-go-lucky indolent indulgent insouciant laid-back lazy lenient liberal nonchalant offhand outgiving patient placid poised self-possessed unconcerned uncritical uninhibited easygoing minority prime boyhood puberty ignorance greenness innocence bloom childhood teens girlhood youngness jejunity maturity boy chick cub fledgling girl junior juvenile juvenile delinquent kid lad lass pup pupil student teenager young person juvenility pubescence spring youth youthfulness minor stripling sweet sixteen teen teenybopper youngster adolescence adulthood dotage elderliness infancy life lifetime majority middle age milestone old age senility seniority wear and tear buck cadet chap child dude fellow gamin guy half-pint little guy little shaver master punk puppy runt schoolboy shaver small fry sonny sprout squirt tadpole whippersnapper adolescent anklebiter babe baby bairn bambino brat cherub descendant dickens imp infant innocent issue kiddie lamb little angel little darling little doll little one mite moppet neonate nestling newborn nipper nursling offspring preteen progeny pubescent suckling toddler tot tyke urchin young one age youths Youths Youth viewer watcher witness participant assemblage assembly audience box office company congregation crowd draw gate gathering gross house observers onlookers patrons public spectators turnout witnesses admirers devotees fans following gallery hearers listeners market moviegoers playgoers showgoers theatergoers viewers attendance peanut gallery eyewitness gaper kibitzer looker-on observer onlooker passerby spectator beholder bystander passer-by gazer looker guess read wonder reflect weigh ruminate surmise cerebrate consider figure study dope muse reason meditate suppose suspect cogitate scheme review head trip call it chew over dope out psych out size up know play plunge dare hazard venture wildcat spec ignore accept ascertain be afraid be inclined to think conclude conjecture count upon deduce deem divine estimate expect fall for fancy find gather get the idea have a hunch have sneaking suspicion hypothesize imagine infer judge posit postulate predicate presume presuppose speculate theorize think understand amass deposit heap hill hoard invest lay aside lay away mass mound pile put by salt away save sock away squirrel stash credit feel hold maintain reckon sense take ante buy in on chance dice game lay down lay odds play against play for play the ponies pledge pony up put put money on risk set tempt fortune toss up trust wager be in brown study bleed chafe inwardly daydream deliberate despond dream dwell upon eat one's heart out fret gloom grieve lament languish mope mull over ponder repine sigh stew over sulk sweat out sweat over think about think upon worry attempt cast lots draw lots gamble go out on a limb have a fling at jeopardize play with fire put eggs in one basket put it on the line roll the dice run the risk skate on thin ice stake stick one's neck out take shot in the dark tempt fate try assume bank believe bet brood limited major certain primary proper personal main unusual unique peculiar rare specific set express choice chief gala sole best first definite especial festive marked reserved select uncommon unreal smashing defined minor like usual worst least common normal impromptu provisional special specified afar alone aloof aside away by itself cut off disassociated disconnected distant distinct divorced excluded exclusively freely independent independently individually isolated lone wolf separated separately singly to itself to one side a couple a few divers individual many numerous one particular precise regular several singular some sundry upwards of various appropriate diagnostic differentiating discriminating discriminative distinctive distinguishing emblematic essential exclusive fixed idiosyncratic inborn inbred indicative individualistic individualizing ingrained inherent innate local native original private representative symbolic symptomatic 24-karat A-1 elect elite excellent exceptional exquisite fine first-class hand-picked nice popular precious preferential preferred prime prize solid gold top-drawer valuable winner ambrosia banquet bonne bouche dainty delight dessert feast goody indulgence luxury morsel nectar pleasure rarity regale relish savory sweet tidbit treat ad hoc apart characteristic delicacy picture word detail summary note record paper news release article message opinion address tidings digest rundown wire brief version outline recital handout tale scoop piece cable history précis quiet silence advice speech rumor hash chat dirt cry tattle rumble canard murmur buzz earful sound crash bang boom crack blast name rep fame disclose reveal inform describe list publish declare notify mention announce document tell present recite relate air trumpet itemize rehearse state spread impart advise relay inscribe recount narrate cover proclaim retail pass on write up hide secret keep arrive reach appear show come get to ABCs annal blow by blow bulletin chronicle explanation lowdown make narration narrative play by play report run-down score story tab take the picture the whole picture IOU bad news balance bill book books charge check computation cuff grunt inventory invoice ledger reckoning register statement tally acquaint apprise clue clue in fill in give the word keep posted lay it out let in on make known post put next to put on the line put on to tip off update warn estimation evaluation finding interpretation judgment reasoning study advertise annunciate blazon broadcast call communicate disseminate divulge drum give out intimate issue make public pass the word promulgate propound publicize run off at mouth sound off spread around advertisement briefing broadcasting communication communiqué disclosure dissemination divulgence edict exposing exposition expression intimation notice notification prediction promulgation publication publishing recitation reporting revelation account analysis announcement
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