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Tips for (relatively) stress-free dining out with kids

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Washington Post food critic Tom Sietsema offers his tips on how to get little ones to be on their best behavior when dining out. Here's how to avoid that restaurant ...

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on parenting onparenting restaurant tantrum screaming diner child children kids eating dinner food behavior bang bug buzz clue cue dope hint inkling news point pointer prompt steer warning whisper word silence edge cusp head end cap crown stub apex peak nip base perk money fee gift reward nadir lean topple dump spill tilt upset bend slope unload shift list slant pour upturn cant careen empty heel upend even hide place hold level fill suggest warn caution advise tip off admonition advisement advocacy aid bum steer charge consultation counsel directions dissuasion encouragement exhortation forewarning guidance help information injunction input instruction judgment lesson opinion persuasion prescription proposal proposition recommendation suggestion teaching telltale tidings tip tip-off two cents' worth view word to the wise Mayday SOS alert bell blast buzzer call clock cry drum flap flash gong high sign horn nod scramble scream shout sign signal siren squeal tocsin trumpet whistle wink yell alarm flag forewarn give the high sign inform notify put on guard wave flag acme apogee climax crest culmination greatest height max maximum meridian most ne plus ultra pinnacle roof spire sublimity summit tops up there vertex zenith additional compensation benefit bounty commission dividend fringe benefit frosting golden parachute goody gratuity gravy hand-out honorarium ice plus premium prize special compensation approach buy buy back buy off coax corrupt do business entice fix get at get to grease palm influence instigate lubricate lure make a deal oil palm pay off pervert seduce soap square suborn sugar sweeten the pot take care of tamper tempt advice bonus bribe Tip T.I.P. T.I.P tips thug 4 life t4l thug after life thug always restaurant server customer waiter waitress mac dre thizzle thizz thizz face bay area being now since after during pro toward to go to as long as cause considering for for the reason that inasmuch as seeing that whereas as a result of as things go by cause of by reason of by virtue of due to for the sake of in as much as in behalf of in that in the interest of in view of now that on the grounds that over owing to seeing thanks to through backing in agreement on the side of supporting all in all all things considered because everything being equal forasmuch as in consideration of in light of insomuch as pending taking into account accept advocate appreciate approbate approve back be in favor of be on one's side buck for champion choose commend cotton to countenance encourage endorse esteem eulogize fancy flash on go for hold with honor incline lean toward look up to opt for patronize pick praise prize regard highly root for sanction single out support take a liking to take a shine to take to think well of tilt toward value accordingly and so consequently ergo for this reason hence in consequence in that event on account of on the grounds then thence therefrom thereupon thus to that end whence wherefore behind favor therefore FOR fro fork form four fuck off fuck yourself go away leave me alone get lost forc fors forq RELATIVELY gdtrghdt drgdghd edgdhghds gdrhyr ysghhhd dgfdffd weight force accent beat import ignorance relaxation tension anxiety hardship crunch agony strain heat trauma burden hassle fear worry spring stretch disquiet traction passion ferment draw flutter pull clutch alarm mistrust trial dread urgency tautness tensity health relief calm ease peace help trust repeat spot feature belabor harp on play up rub in reduce relax distend overdo afflict tense fret aid significance stress accentuate draw attention to emphasize highlight intensify underline underscore bring attention to call attention to give prominence to point up spotlight apprehension cold feet consternation dismay distress fright horror nervousness panic scare terror trepidation unease uneasiness advance affirm allege argue asservate attest aver avouch avow butt in cite claim contend defend horn in justify mouth off pop off predicate press proclaim profess pronounce protest put forward say shoot off one's mouth shoot one's wad stand up for state swear uphold vindicate warrant full force impact pressure shock thrust violence assert brunt Stress fuck stressful stressed headache stress-free paper freebie handout gratis unpaid comp priced bound costly barred busy mean clear loose able easy open frank casual lax vague closed strict separate freed unused empty spare idle extra vacant eager big poor parole rescue pardon relieve acquit release dismiss save ransom unbind loosen reprieve spring deliver absolve undo redeem untie unleash manumit bail bail out let off turn out unchain let out set free uncage unfetter unfix harm injure damn blame hire fasten burden compel limit hurt hold keep employ engage bind exempt unload excuse unlade rid unpack fill load complete consummate downright entire flat out free full infinite no catch no fine print no holds barred no ifs ands or buts no joke no strings attached outright plenary pure sheer simple straight out supreme thorough total unabridged unadulterated unconditional unlimited unqualified unrestricted utter bleach blink at discharge exculpate exonerate forgive go easy on launder let off easy let off the hook let up on liberate lifeboat sanitize vindicate whitewash wink at wipe it off wipe the slate clean write off disculpate let go wipe off self-determining self-governing self-ruling sovereign uncontrolled accessible achievable applicable at hand at one's disposal attainable come-at-able convenient derivable from feasible getatable handy obtainable on deck on hand on tap open to possible prepared procurable purchasable reachable ready willing and able realizable securable serviceable up for grabs usable altruistic benevolent bighearted chivalrous considerate gracious greathearted heroic liberal lofty magnanimous noble princely unselfish absolute autonomous available Free FREE win chargeless no fear dismantle scrub weak fighting game video game mendacity subterfuge expensive oppression theft feast sup lunch fast binging biting chewing consumption devouring dining feasting on feeding on gluttony gobbling gorging on gourmandization having a meal masticating munching nibbling overindulgence pigging out snacking stuffing oneself absorb attack banquet bite bolt break bread breakfast chew chow down cram devour digest dine dispatch dispose of fall to feast upon feed gobble up gorge gormandize graze have a bite have a meal have for ingest inhale make pig of oneself masticate munch nibble nosh partake of peck at pick pig out polish off pork out put away ruminate scarf scoff snack swallow take food take in take nourishment wolf admit be host board chaperone do the honors foster give a party harbor have a do have a get-together have company have guests have visitors house invite lodge nourish pick up the check pop for put up quarter receive recreate regale room show hospitality spring for throw a party treat welcome wine and dine eat sumptuously entertain indulge overindulge stuff stuff one's face bolster cater deliver dish out dispense encourage fatten fill find fuel furnish give hand hand over maintain minister nurse nurture provide provision satisfy stock strengthen supply support sustain victual eating eat dining room dinner dinning dineing diening fine dining away outside absent dead ended finished dated cold outmoded passé doused expired demode not on old-hat used up warm new here outward without altercation beef bickering blowup bone bone of contention bone to pick brannigan brawl brush clash controversy crusher debate difference of opinion disagreement dispute donnybrook dustup exchange face-off falling feud finisher flap fuss gin hassle knock down and drag out knockdown out quarrel rhubarb romp row ruckus ruction rumpus run-in scene scrap set-to shindy spat squabble static stew talking heads tiff words wrangle abreast afar alone alongside apart beside by oneself down in isolation in reserve near nearby neck and neck out of the way privately separately sidewise catching some zzz's comatose conked crashed dormant dozing dreaming flaked out getting shut-eye hibernating in dreamland in repose inactive inert napping on the kip out cold out like a light out of it reposing resting sacked out sleeping slumbering snoozing snoring somnolent taking forty winks busted coming unglued coming unstuck defective disabled exhausted fallen apart faulty feeble gone gone to pieces gone to pot haywire imperfect in disrepair in need of repair in the shop inoperable kaput not functioning on the blink on the fritz on the shelf out of commission out of kilter out of order out of whack ruined run-down screwed up shot spent unsatisfactory weak wracked wrecked dead to the world dopey drowsy drugged hebetudinous inconscious insensible lethargic out to lunch senseless sleepy sluggish slumberous soporose stupefied stupid stuporous torpid vegged out appear be announced be brought out be disclosed be divulged be exposed be issued be made known be promulgated be published be released be reported be revealed break debut get out leak transpire argument aside asleep broken come out Out outs outed outing closet outer bizarre fucked up bananas nuts crazy fight falling out punch up for near plus upon accompanying additionally also as companion as well at same time besides coupled with furthermore in addition to likewise moreover side by side simultaneously too with amid amidst betwixt encompassed by in dispersion through in the midst of in the thick of mid surrounded by by all of by the whole of in association with in connection with in the class of in the company of mutually out of together with with one another a step from abreast of adjacent to adjoining alongside aside at one's elbow at the edge of at the side of bordering on cheek by jowl close at hand close to close upon connected with contiguous to fornent in juxtaposition nearby neck and neck neighboring next door to nigh opposite overlooking round verging on at the hand of in the name of over supported by through through the agency of through the medium of under the aegis of via with the assistance of along with among other things as well as counting in conjunction with inclusive of made up of not to mention along among beside including W.I.T.H. WITH racist racial profiling bastards cockblocked larry acronym sex cum masturbation ejaculation wtf hell sperm latin absurd stupid boy son youth child baby girl lad bairn lass tot adult joke bother tease delude rag razz jest jape hoax josh banter cozen gull jolly dupe trick roast fun spoof rib mock be serious begats breed children descendants family get issue kids lineage posterity progeniture race scions seed stock young blood relative clay consanguinean kin kith and kin offspring organism relatives uterine kin angelface babe bambino bundle buttercup button cherub chick crawler deduction dividend dumpling kid little angel little darling little doll little one newborn nipper nursling papoose preemie suckling tad toddler write-off youngster chaff deride fool jeer jive make fun of ridicule satirize taunt devil enfant terrible holy terror impudent child jackanapes punk rascal unruly child urchin whippersnapper wild one rally scoff progeny flesh and blood brat Kids adolescence teenager maturity will keep adding this definition until gets published spawn organize devise set up discover invent shape design establish make construct start build forge form produce plan generate conceive initiate found fashion formulate sire contrive procreate compose concoct author perform actualize father erect hatch beget parent effect imagine coin rear fabricate invest originate institute occasion dream up deny ruin raze wreck end lose stop break fail halt develop provoke cause achieve breed induce bear muster get up whip up work up kill close set plot brood scheme prepare secure frame cook mold whip arrange adjust brew cook up draw on lead to veto crush evolve spark pioneer launch open up cease create mother get destroy result finish give supply offer yield write render return afford flower fetch shun hide hurt take hold keep fade die abort act play issue bring into being bring into existence bring to pass cause to be constitute give birth to give life to accomplish bring about engender give rise to inaugurate introduce multiply propagate reproduce brainstorm bring forth come up with give birth incubate lay eggs make up project spitball think up throw together trump up assemble dash off get ready knock off manufacture put together synthesize tear off whip out break the ice innovate set in motion usher in impregnate progenerate proliferate Parenting parenting lifestyle status gender neutral bar diner joint inn outlet saloon grill dive canteen café eatery hashery lounge restaurant tavern cafeteria charcuterie deli sandwich shop subway shop cafe counter fast food food festival smorgasbord bistro cabaret casino disco discotheque hideaway honky-tonk night spot nightery nitery roadhouse speakeasy spot supper club theatre watering hole snack bar delicatessen food court nightclub luncheonette Restaurant restau-rant restaurants food career business hygeine sadness bad resto check resteraunt poop booty sex temper huff storm wax anger dander calm peace acrimony animosity annoyance antagonism blow up cat fit chagrin choler conniption disapprobation displeasure distemper enmity exasperation fury gall hatred hissy fit ill humor ill temper impatience indignation infuriation irascibility ire irritability irritation mad miff outrage passion peevishness petulance pique rage rankling resentment slow burn soreness stew tantrum tiff umbrage vexation violence access attack blow bout burst caprice convulsion epileptic attack frenzy humor jumps mood outbreak outburst paroxysm rush spasm spate spell stroke throe torrent turn twitch whim whimsy explosion fit flare-up needle scene tizzy wounded feelings wrath discharge eruption flare gush gust outpouring rapture surge transport upheaval acerbity agitation apoplexy asperity bitterness blowup bluster excitement ferment ferocity fireworks furor heat hemorrhage hysterics madness mania obsession rampage raving spleen squall uproar upset vehemence wingding carrying-on commotion confrontation exhibition fuss performance row temper tantrum to-do offense how met your mother himym caffeine soft-drink wail roar blare shout yell howl jar bawl yowl voice yip whimper agreeable boffo camp campy charming cheerful cheering comical cut up delightful diverting droll enchanting engaging enjoyable entertaining for grins fun gladdening gratifying gut-busting humorous interesting jocular jokey joshing laughable lively merry pleasant pleasing priceless screaming sidesplitting too funny for words witty arrant bald barefaced brassy clear conspicuous crying flagrant flashy flaunting garish gaudy glaring glitzy impudent loud meretricious naked obtrusive ostentatious outright overbold overt plain prominent pronounced protrusive shameless sheer showy snazzy unabashed unblushing unmitigated boisterous clamorous ear-splitting harsh loudmouthed noisy obstreperous piercing scurrilous strident vociferant vociferous vulgar arresting arrestive blatant celebrated commanding distinguished eminent famed famous illustrious influential jazzy marked notable noted notorious outstanding pointed rank remarkable renowned salient signal splashy stick out like sore thumb striking tony well-known at full volume blaring booming ear-piercing ear-popping ringing roaring rowdy thunderous turned up agile barreling breakneck brisk expeditious expeditive fast flying hasty in nothing flat like greased lightning mercurial meteoric nimble nimble-footed on the double rapid speedball speedy swift winged amusing deafening fleet dying overwhelmed unthinkable idk man bistro saloon booth grill dump facility canteen café tearoom automat eatery burger joint cafeteria cake shop chophouse coffee bar coffee shop diner eating house grease joint greasy spoon hash house luncheonette lunchroom noshery pit stop quick-lunch snack bar soup house bean wagon beanery cheap restaurant dog wagon grease pit hashery hashhouse inexpensive restaurant bar dining room dive doughtnut shop drive-in eating place fast-food place hamburger stand hideaway hotdog stand inn joint night club outlet pizzeria soda fountain watering hole guest patron paying guest renter roomer visitor buffet car dining compartment restaurant car restaurant boarder cafe dining car dinner waffle house greek food restaurant. waiters waitresses gyros diners greeks malaka infant youth baby kid minor bairn sprout lamb tyke tot imp cub squirt issue teen babe urchin nipper mite moppet brat chick cherub shaver kiddie adult child little one newborn suckling angelface bambino bundle buttercup button crawler deduction dividend dumpling little angel little darling little doll nursling papoose preemie tad toddler write-off youngster buck cadet chap dude fellow gamin guy half-pint junior lad little guy little shaver master punk puppy runt schoolboy small fry sonny stripling tadpole whippersnapper brood children chip off old block get heir kin offshoot offspring posterity product progeniture progeny scion seed spin-off action aim angle animus big picture brainchild conation conspiracy deliberation end enterprise game plan gimmick goal intendment intrigue lay of the land machination meaning notion object objective picture pitch plan play plot point project proposition purport purpose recipe reflection scenario scene schema scheme setup story target thinking thought trick undertaking view volition what's cooking will being biped body character creature individual life mortal personage soul wight boy descendant design human Child Children happy wild free non-brainwashing misunderstood satan crying noisy annoying diaper pregnant safe sex immature std tween nuisance condom mistake punishment kids teens suck cocks for money and hate tags infant youth baby kid minor bairn sprout lamb tyke tot imp cub squirt issue teen babe urchin nipper mite moppet brat chick cherub shaver kiddie adult ancestors ancestry birth blood brood children clan class descendants descent dynasty extraction folk forebears genealogy generations genre group heirs and assigns house household in-laws inheritance kind kindred kith and kin line lineage menage ménage network parentage pedigree people progenitors progeny race relations relationship relatives siblings strain subdivision system tribe breed family heirs next generation offspring progeniture scions seed stock succeeding generations successors unborn begats get kids posterity young blood relative clay consanguinean kin organism uterine kin child little one newborn suckling flesh and blood Child Children happy wild free non-brainwashing misunderstood satan crying noisy annoying diaper pregnant safe sex immature std tween toddler nuisance condom mistake punishment teens suck cocks for money and hate tags devouring biting dining chewing gluttony munching snacking binging nibbling gobbling burning consuming damage decay decrease depletion desolation destruction devastation diminution dispersion dissipation drinking eating exhaustion expenditure loss misuse ruin swallowing using up utilization waste wear and tear battening champing cropping feeding foraging gnawing masticating pasturing ruminating uprooting annoy bait bug bully eat give the business goad harass harry hassle heckle hound importune insist on needle nudge pester plague ride tease torment work on champ chaw chaw on chew chomp clamp crunch crush cut gnaw hold lacerate masticate munch nibble nip pierce pinch rend ruminate seize sever snap take a chunk out of taste tooth wound afflict aggravate agitate alarm badger bedevil bore browbeat carp at concern cross discommode disconcert disgust dismay displease disquiet distress disturb embarrass exacerbate exasperate grate on grieve hinder hurt impede inconvenience insult intrude upon irk irritate molest nag pain perplex perturb pick on provoke pursue put out scare spite tantalize taunt trouble upset vex worry annihilate break bulldoze burst crack decimate defeat devastate devour dilapidate dismantle flatten gobble up knock down level obliterate overthrow overturn pulverize put away put in toilet raze sink smash take apart take out tear down torpedo total trash undo wax wipe off map wrack wreck consumption grazing bite bother demolish Eating eatin starving hungry thirsty rap hip hop jay z kanye west slang weight fun boring nachos restaurant mouth nsfw nom nom nom vomit eww food snack meat bored no life feast banquet repast blowout eats fete spread chow regale supper feedbag ribs potluck din-din ball bazaar charitable affair charity performance concert dance dinner exhibit exhibition fair pancake breakfast raffle barbecue big feed blow carnival carousal clambake entertainment fest festival festivity fiesta gala jollification merrymaking picnic potlatch refreshment treat wassail blue plate board breakfast brunch carryout chow time collation cookout dessert fare feed grub lunch luncheon mess munchies refection regalement snack special square meal table tea together banquet affair amusement at-home bash carousing celebration cocktails coffee klatch coming-out diversion festive occasion fun function get-together movable feast orgy prom reception riot shindig social soiree splurge spree buffet gathering levee matinee shindy social gathering benefit meal party dinners D'inner zelda wand of gamelon youtube youtube poop poop beat best smash fight jacking off showering bitching facebook lame entree diner your-mom a-bunch-of-crap dick in her desperate girl d&39;inner d-inner feed cuisine snack meat drink fare cooking meal bread grub table slop pabulum menu bite aliment board store larder fodder grit mess ration diet eatable tuck eats handout keep cheer chow support entrée vittles viand goodies cookery victual daily bread food provisions victuals course helping recipe serving beef brawn cells corpuscles fat fatness flesh and blood muscle plasm plasma protoplasm sinews thews weight animal food barley corn forage grain grass hay pasturage provender silage straw ammunition combustible electricity encouragement gas incitement juice material means nourishment propellant provocation alimentation alimony allowance bacon bread and butter care carrying conservation continuance continuation keeping livelihood living nurture preservation prolongation provision repairs resources retainment salt subsistence supply sustaining sustainment sustention upkeep wherewithal dish flesh fuel maintenance Food models yummy goodness calories macncheese pizza meatloaf eat happy waste cunt barf crack cocaine crack hungry fooood style nature role act action code morals taste course tone deed mien speech way form tact front ethics bag ritual air mode guise talk ways habits tenue inertia repose quiet silence rest address aspect attitude behavior carriage comportment demeanor deportment display look manner poise port pose presence set stand bearing cast conduct gait pace positure stance step actions appearance posture affection appreciation ardor capacity compassion concern cultivation culture delicacy discernment discrimination emotion empathy faculty fervor fondness heat imagination impression intelligence intensity intuition judgment keenness palpability passion pathos pity reaction refinement sensibility sensitivity sentiment sentimentality sharpness spirit sympathy tangibility tenderness understanding warmth by the book by the numbers canon ceremonial channels convenance convention custom decorum done thing etiquette fashion formality habit law layout manners method practice precept proceeding process propriety protocol regulation rite ropes rule setup usage activity affair business charge duty employment exercise goal mark mission object objective occupation office operation part post power province purpose raison d'être responsibility service situation target task use utility work feeling function Behavior biology psychology bahaiour movement
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