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Update: Obama Yet Again Refrains From Obliterating Human Race

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A budget mix up causes Congress to accidentally fund schools ...NFL Players look weird in suits, and a revealing discovery about the life of Gentle Ben. It's the ...

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the onion comedy obama onion review onion The Onion satire news Onion News Network ONN Obama OBAMA! OBAMA still till though however but despite withal howbeit also too along more even someday finally sometime never added to additionally along with and all apart from as well as aside from beyond conjointly else exceeding exclusive of extra further furthermore in conjunction with in distinction to in excess of in other respects likewise more than moreover not counting on the side on top of everything other than otherwise over and above plus secondly supplementary to to boot together with what's more with the exception of yet after all at last at the end of the day hereafter in future in the end in the long run one day sooner or later ultimately when all is said and done after a while already as a sequel at length at long last at the end at the last moment belatedly despite delay eventually in conclusion in spite of all in the eleventh hour lastly subsequently tardily again besides distant farther in addition on top of then yonder as well not to mention all the same anyhow be that as it may for all that in spite of nonetheless notwithstanding on the other hand per contra without regard to Yet yets Yets over anew afresh anon encore newly bis further also then besides moreover again de novo lately of late once again once more over again recently additionally along along with and as well as well as conjointly furthermore in conjunction with in like manner including likewise more more than that on top of over and above plus still to boot together with too withal beyond distant farther in addition what's more yet yonder after afterward at another time behind by and by come Sunday down the line down the road in a while in time infra later on latterly more recent next subsequently succeeding thereafter again and again frequently many a time many times much oft often oftentimes ofttimes regularly time after time time and again all at once at that instant at that moment at that point at that time before long formerly later on that occasion soon after suddenly thereupon when years ago repeatedly theme music tune song silence abstain halt avoid forgo resist desist cease curb forbear quit inhibit pass stop arrest eschew keep check give up not do pass up sit out use aid help decline refrain reject abjure abnegate constrain deny oneself do without evade fast fence-sit give the go by go on the wagon keep from refuse renounce shun sit on one's hands sit on the fence spurn starve take the cure take the pledge withhold byword catchphrase household word maxim password shibboleth slogan watchword back off break off bring to an end call it a day call it quits close close out come to an end culminate cut it out die discontinue drop end fail finish give over intermit knock off leave off pack in quit cold turkey shut down stay surcease terminate wind up bit bottle up box in bridle bring to screeching halt clog contain control cook cool down cool off deny entrammel fetter hamper hinder hobble hog-tie hold back hold down hold in ice impede keep lid on keep tight rein on leash manacle moderate muzzle rein in restrain retard scrub send up shackle subdue suppress tame tie tie up balk beg to be excused bypass demur disapprove dismiss don't buy gainsay nix not accept not hear of not think of pass on reprobate repudiate send regrets shy turn down turn thumbs down catchword Refrain against taken away beginning at coming out of starting with aboriginal autochthonous belonging endemic from homegrown homemade indigenous inland internal local municipal national original primary primeval primitive regional related vernacular about concerning like regarding after afterward ago already because considering for hence later now past subsequently therefore whereas defective diminished lacking less negative subtracted without native since minus From wipe out expunge ravage erase smash obscure scratch kill cancel total zap cut waste efface finish scrub squash nix sink trash off level cover defeat delete bog do in rub out wash out torpedo X-out blot out mark out root out rub off take out aid build help bear add fix begin start save keep abate abrogate annihilate annul call off destroy disestablish dissolve end eradicate extinguish extirpate inhibit invalidate negate nullify obliterate overthrow overturn prohibit put an end to put kibosh on put the kibosh on quash repeal repudiate rescind revoke set aside squelch stamp out subvert supersede suppress terminate undo vacate vitiate void abolish crush decimate demolish exterminate finish off liquidate massacre murder quell raze ruin slaughter wrack wreck countermand declare discharge get off the hook neutralize recall render null and void retract reverse abort black out break break off cross out deface do away with eliminate go back on one's word omit remove render invalid scratch out stamp across strike out trim wipe slate clean bear down beat blow away conquer force down ice overcome overpower overwhelm quelch reduce strangle subdue subjugate vanquish butcher commit genocide execute kill off personal animal mortal fallible fleshly hominid biped bipedal hominal hominine inhuman unmanly body life child being soul wight plant Robin Hood all heart benevolent big big-hearted bleeding heart charitable considerate generous good good scout human humane humanitarian kind magnanimous openhanded philanthropic self-sacrificing beast conscious thing creature entity human being individual living thing organism person personage thing actual carnal corporal corporeal gross material natural normal organic physical sensual somatic substantial tangible unspiritual party anatomical fleshy objective phenomenal sensible altruistic bodily Human humans warm blood soft skin ugly disguisting ape gorilla mammal domintion deviation weird aliens non skinned scales ignorant social aggression stupid irresponsible argonimorphic run relay match event chase rush clash clip dash spurt meet issue tribe family people color house strain seed folk breed type stock nation blood line clan kind kin parent rill duct tide gill fly shoot hurry gallop tear dart bolt sprint hustle career boil swoop whisk course pursue fling haste scud skim hie lash post hasten wing bustle walk slow dally dawdle delay wait stay ancestor antecedent antecessor breeding derivation descent extraction forebear forefather foregoer foremother forerunner genealogy heritage kindred lineage origin parentage pedigree precursor primogenitor progenitor race source ancestry background forebears heritance legacy position rank station status brand character feather genus ilk likes lot nature number progeny sort species stamp stripe variety orbit passage pilgrimage procedure progress cultural level degree estate grade order social order sphere standing stratum hunt hunting quest venery birth caste Race The Onion The Onions comic sudden tense affecting breathtaking climactic dramaturgic dramaturgical effective electrifying emotional expressive farcical histrionic impressive melodramatic powerful sensational spectacular startling striking suspenseful the histrionical The onion Onion ONION onions fun humor satire farce picnic takeoff drollery hoopla travesty hilarity ball camp jesting joking sitcom laughs funnies grins schtick chaffing gag show play on send-up sadness tragedy Broadway boards climax comedy dramatic art dramatization dramaturgy footlights histrionic art melodrama play production scene show show business showmanship stage show stagecraft tear-jerker theater theatricals thespian art vehicle crisis dramatics emotion excitement histrionics spectacle tension theatrics absurdity broad comedy buffoonery burlesque caricature high camp horseplay interlude joke low camp mock mockery parody pratfall comedy ridiculousness sham skit slapstick curtain-raiser drama entertainment flop hit mask musical one-act opera performance potboiler smash smash hit theatrical turkey act appearance carnival cinema film flick motion picture movie pageant picture presentation showing curiosity demonstration display event exposition extravaganza marvel parade phenomenon representation sight spectacular tableau view wonder Comedy Obama OBAMA! OBAMA audit survey report check checkup file scan rethink parade drill view neglect notice essay column study theme organ thesis blurb pan quiet reexamine analyze revise rehash remember debrief recall recollect revisit recap brush up check out go over reassess hash over polish up run over summon up ignore praise forget evaluate inspect assess examine discuss knock rip rave slam zap judge weigh trash correct put down reedit swipe at abbreviate abridge condense digest outline review shorten summarize reconsideration second thought adjudge assay calculate deem eye figure figure in figure out gauge guesstimate have one's number look over peg price rate read set at size take account of valuate value analysis balancing checking examination investigation scrutiny verification balance go through investigate scrutinize sit in verify clean up cram read up refresh one's memory refurbish relearn renovate reread retouch touch up abstract afterthought appraise Review The Onion The Onions comic sudden tense affecting breathtaking climactic dramaturgic dramaturgical effective electrifying emotional expressive farcical histrionic impressive melodramatic powerful sensational spectacular startling striking suspenseful the histrionical The onion Onion ONION onions irony skit wit spoof squib seriousness burly caricature farce lampoon lampoonery mock mockery parody pastiche peep show revue satire send-up strip takeoff travesty vaudeville burlesque cartoon distortion imitation libel mimicry pasquinade put-on ridicule sham animation comic strip drawing representation sketch ball camp chaffing comic drama comicality comicalness drollery drollness facetiousness field day fun fun and games funnies funniness gag show grins high camp high time hilarity hoopla humor humorousness interlude jesting joking laughs light entertainment merry-go-round picnic play on schtick sitcom slapstick wisecracking witticism wittiness Bronx cheer backhanded compliment brickbat butt comeback contempt contumely crack dig disdain disparagement dump jab jest joke laughingstock laughter object of ridicule parting shot pilgarlic put-down raillery scoffing scorn slam slap sneering adumbration allegory alliteration allusion analogue analogy anaphora anticlimax antistrophe antithesis aposiopesis apostrophe asyndeton bathos comparison conceit device echoism ellipsis euphemism euphuism exaggeration expression flourish flower hyperbole image imagery litotes malapropism manner of speaking metaphor metonymy onomatopoeia ornament oxymoron parable paradox parallel personification proteron rhetoric sarcasm simile synecdoche trope tropology turn of phrase understatement way of speaking comedy derision figure of speech Satire story word advice account report message data rumor hearsay telegram tidings dispatch telecast scandal leak telling copy cable recital scoop release bulletin exposé lowdown silence truth history admonition advisement advocacy aid bum steer caution charge consultation counsel directions dissuasion encouragement exhortation forewarning guidance help information injunction input instruction judgment lesson news opinion persuasion prescription proposal proposition recommendation steer suggestion teaching telltale tip tip-off two cents' worth view warning word to the wise advertisement briefing broadcast broadcasting communication communiqué disclosure dissemination divulgence edict exposing exposition expression intimation narration notice notification prediction promulgation publication publishing recitation reporting revelation statement announcement break calendar flash handout hot wire item list news flash program skinny the dope what's going down what's happening comment cry grapevine rumble scuttlebutt talk whisper conversation converse declaration directive excerpt goods hot story ideas info inside story intelligence language missive note pipeline poop prophecy précis publicity speech summary translation utterance work buzz intimate intelligence juicy morsel the lowdown dirt NEWS story word advice account report message data rumor hearsay telegram tidings dispatch telecast scandal leak telling copy cable recital scoop release bulletin exposé lowdown silence truth history admonition advisement advocacy aid bum steer caution charge consultation counsel directions dissuasion encouragement exhortation forewarning guidance help information injunction input instruction judgment lesson news opinion persuasion prescription proposal proposition recommendation steer suggestion teaching telltale tip tip-off two cents' worth view warning word to the wise advertisement briefing broadcast broadcasting communication communiqué disclosure dissemination divulgence edict exposing exposition expression intimation narration notice notification prediction promulgation publication publishing recitation reporting revelation statement announcement break calendar flash handout hot wire item list news flash program skinny the dope what's going down what's happening comment cry grapevine rumble scuttlebutt talk whisper conversation converse declaration directive excerpt goods hot story ideas info inside story intelligence language missive note pipeline poop prophecy précis publicity speech summary translation utterance work buzz intimate intelligence juicy morsel the lowdown dirt NEWS web chain system grid net nexus plexus wattle fabric complex maze fiber mesh artery weave grill hookup jungle netting wiring tracks disorganization mingle meet hobnob avoid divide admix alloy ally coalesce combine come together compound consolidate fuse hook up with incorporate integrate interface intermix join together meld merge network pool team up tie in tie up unite bureaucracy chain of command hierarchy setup structure band binding connection cord fastening fetter gunk handcuff irons ligature link linkage manacle rope shackle stickum tie tie-in wire affiliation affinity attachment connective friendship interrelationship liaison marriage obligation relationship restraint union gossamer labyrinth snare tissue toil webbing amalgamate associate bind blend bond bracket bunch up coadjute commingle conjoin cooperate couple dub get together glue oneself to hitch on hook on join league marry mix plug into put together relate slap on stand in with synthesize tack on tag on team up with throw in together tie up with unify wed apparatus cobweb Network Net-Work Onns
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