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Watch Penny Mordaunt's naughty cock speech to Parliament

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Conservative minister delivers spoof speech packed full of innuendos after losing a bet with Royal Navy officer friends It has been revealed that Penny Mordaunt ...

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ascendance ascending ascension clambering climb climbing mounting rising scaling spring take off abetment aid collaboration facilitation helping hand amend appropriate ascent Lift lifting high drugs hallucinogen addictive shoplift pump iron need a lift need a ride pumping iron steal plagiarize hitchhike dom mazzetti gains pump deadlift squat hit slow stupid dumb absent slight slim small slack quiet sour bad poor putrid rancid rotten turned ahead far over aside below out removed above afar behind beneath beside here close adrift afield amiss awry gone lost off off course off the mark roaming straying vanished wandering wrong abroad apart beyond distant elsewhere far afield far away far off far remote forth from here hence not present out of out of the way to one side abominable atrocious awful bad news beastly blah bottom out bummer careless cheap cheesy crappy cruddy crummy defective deficient diddly dissatisfactory downer dreadful erroneous fallacious faulty garbage godawful grody gross grungy icky imperfect inadequate incorrect inferior junky lousy not good raunchy rough sad slipshod stinking substandard synthetic the pits unacceptable unsatisfactory moldy spoiled below average lacking not oneself off-form under the weather wanting X-out abolish abort abrogate annul black out blot out break break off countermand cross out cut deface delete destroy do away with do in efface eliminate eradicate expunge finish off go back on one's word kill obliterate omit quash remove render invalid repeal repudiate rescind revoke rub out scratch out scrub sink smash squash stamp across strike out torpedo total trash trim undo wash out wipe out wipe slate clean zap astray away below par cancel OFF OFFS vote for the worst vftw fat old cow pig heifer hog oink moo ancient fuck awf fuckoff fuck off for sake acc bff o.f.f loner outcast fwb being now since after during pro toward to go to as long as cause considering for for the reason that inasmuch as seeing that whereas as a result of as things go by cause of by reason of by virtue of due to for the sake of in as much as in behalf of in that in the interest of in view of now that on the grounds that over owing to seeing thanks to through backing in agreement on the side of supporting all in all all things considered because everything being equal forasmuch as in consideration of in light of insomuch as pending taking into account accept advocate appreciate approbate approve back be in favor of be on one's side buck for champion choose commend cotton to countenance encourage endorse esteem eulogize fancy flash on go for hold with honor incline lean toward look up to opt for patronize pick praise prize regard highly root for sanction single out support take a liking to take a shine to take to think well of tilt toward value accordingly and so consequently ergo for this reason hence in consequence in that event on account of on the grounds then thence therefrom thereupon thus to that end whence wherefore behind favor therefore FOR fro fork form four fuck off fuck yourself go away leave me alone get lost forc fors forq NASA nasa Nasa N.A.S.A. bureaucrat farce jpl space challenger n.a.s.a. n.a.sa anal anal sex national analsex association sex group usa nasty pasa masa asia poor government underfunded american pie rave addled greeting clothing Orion orion hotdamn mysterious meltinghotness chuckbasssay middle of nowhere bickleton pullman photoediting hating the sun star trek aliens sex fan service orian name constilation ocd adhd catlover treehugger cock big awesome huge Mars mars Mar mar marseille france iam french rap provence funny hot smart cool mercury venus earth jupiter saturn uranus neptune pluto not sarcasm sincerity planets band orchestra music euphonium ship Ship ships boat aquamobile floating house etc. fanfiction fanon slang internet slang anime my ship relationship love hate king dinner link cd-i youtube poop Obama OBAMA obama messiah democrat brain-dead worship zealots barack obama president 2008 election senator failure abject failure socialism socialist class warfare hyperinflation african charity kenyan stupid liberals clueless liberal flip flopper savor fraud reagan carter barack corporate gravel politics kucinich paul new world order euro obama day democrats clan tribe group people house folk dynasty strain ancestry brood pedigree progeny system issue kindred blood birth genre line class descent lineage kind network race menage in-laws children siblings ménage parent affiliation alliance band bunch circle clique club coalition combination combo company confederacy confederation congress cooperative corporation crew crowd family federation fellowship fraternity gang guild hookup league mob order organization outfit partnership pool rat pack ring society sodality sorority syndicate tie-in tie-up troops troupe union zoo consanguinity descendants extraction kinship origin relations stock brand character feather genus ilk likes lot nature number sort species stamp stripe type variety begats breed chicks clutch flock hatch infants litter offspring posterity progeniture scions seed young branch cast caste classification collection color degree denomination department description designation distinction division domain estate frame grade grain grouping hierarchy humor kidney make mold name property province quality range rank rate school sect section selection set source sphere standing status style suit temperament value bourgeoisie caliber condition connection coterie cultural level derivation genealogy influence intelligentsia moiety nobility pecking order pigeonhole place position prestige social rank state station stratum the right stuff tier title association Family friends love mom dad sister brother use disrespect insert tag here relitives related bood household angle trend shift curve spiral twist wind swing corner spin round change bias bend pivot whirl yaw branch circle wheel quirk drift detour tack cycle gyre hook roll bow fork 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changeabout doubleback overturning policy change repeal retraction reversal reverse turn turnabout turnaround volte-face adventure circumstance contingency fate fluke fortuity fortune happening luck occasion occurrence curtain epilogue gag introduction number piece prologue routine scene schtick show sketch spot apply oneself to attend to concentrate on devote oneself to dig engage in focus on go at go for hammer away have a go at have at knuckle down to peg away pitch into plug away at take care of take up throw oneself into turn to undertake adapt adjust amend cook correct mid-course develop dial back diversify doctor fine tune make different metamorphose modify mutate phony up recalibrate recast reconstruct refashion reform remodel renovate reshape revamp revise transform transmute about-face accommodation adaptation adjustment amendment conversion correction difference diversification exchange fixing flip-flop metamorphosis mid-course correction modification mutation reformation remodeling reshaping revision switch-over transformation transmutation variance variation accident alteration Turn switch teams turn gay turn state&39;s evidence burn slice nugs dank weed stress date sadie hawkins t.u.r.n. rick ross sex tape away outside absent dead ended finished dated cold outmoded passé doused expired demode not on old-hat used up warm new here outward without altercation beef bickering blowup bone bone of contention bone to pick brannigan brawl brush clash controversy crusher debate difference of opinion disagreement dispute donnybrook dustup exchange face-off falling feud finisher flap fuss gin hassle knock down and drag out knockdown out quarrel rhubarb romp row ruckus ruction rumpus run-in scene scrap set-to shindy spat squabble static stew talking heads tiff words wrangle abreast afar alone alongside apart beside by oneself down in isolation in reserve near nearby neck and neck out of the way privately separately sidewise catching some zzz's comatose conked crashed dormant dozing dreaming flaked out getting shut-eye hibernating in dreamland in repose inactive inert napping on the kip out cold out like a light out of it reposing resting sacked out sleeping slumbering snoozing snoring somnolent taking forty winks busted coming unglued coming unstuck defective disabled exhausted fallen apart faulty feeble gone gone to pieces gone to pot haywire imperfect in disrepair in need of repair in the shop inoperable kaput not functioning on the blink on the fritz on the shelf out of commission out of kilter out of order out of whack ruined run-down screwed up shot spent unsatisfactory weak wracked wrecked dead to the world dopey drowsy drugged hebetudinous inconscious insensible lethargic out to lunch senseless sleepy sluggish slumberous soporose stupefied stupid stuporous torpid vegged out appear be announced be brought out be disclosed be divulged be exposed be issued be made known be promulgated be published be released be reported be revealed break debut get out leak transpire argument aside asleep broken come out Out outs outed outing closet outer bizarre fucked up bananas nuts crazy fight falling out punch up communal civil ethnic domestic internal social public royal general state sweeping home imperial native inland politic societal federal local John/Jane Q. Public aborigine burgess burgher civilian commoner cosmopolite denizen dweller freeman/woman householder inhabitant member of body politic member of community national naturalized person occupant resident settler subject taxpayer townsperson urbanite villager voter borough metropolitan municipal urban governmental interior political citizen habitant indweller inhabiter liver resider handcrafted home-grown homemade indigenous intestine intramural traditional tribal civic nationals National Nationals best dominant champions future baseball mexico mexican stereotypes shopping materialism rich sport sports loss losing franchise Yule Xmas Noel Christmas christmas capitalism celebration holidays pagan consumer consumer culture corperate american apocalypse shrub wood woods pulp stock abduct appropriate arrest bag capture catch cop corner get grab hook lay hands on nab nail prehend secure seize take tree bottle bring to bay collar fool get on ropes have up a tree mousetrap put out trick trouble ancestral tree ancestry bloodline descent family history genealogical chart genealogical tree genealogy heredity line lineage pedigree stemma battleground benchmark bend blaze feature fragment guide hill mark marker memorial milepost milestone monument mountain museum promontory remnant ruins souvenir specimen stone survival trace vantage point vestige waypost annual biennial bush creeper cutting flower grass greenery herb perennial seedling shoot slip sprout vine weed young youth family tree landmark plant sapling trees Trees light flame darkness fire beam brightening brightness brilliance flash gleam lighting lights radiance ray base establishment fort fortification furnishings machinery plant post power station system wiring come down debark descend disembark dismount get off perch settle touch down burst out coruscate explode flare flicker fulgurate glare glow illuminate illumine incandesce jet radiate scintillate shimmer shine sparkle chance upon come across encounter hit light upon luck meet meet up with run across run into stumble tumble bake be ablaze blaze brand broil calcine cauterize char combust conflagrate cook cremate enkindle heat ignite incinerate kindle melt parch reduce to ashes rekindle roast scald scorch sear set a match to singe smoke smolder toast torch wither illumination installation alight bump into burn don king.fuckedup hair fail groom mate bride suitor spouse husband fiancé benedict helpmate newlywed old man bridegroom Benedict man legend spiderman monkeyface donkeypunch ben brave dark knight kind galaxy universe pet love cute eggs benedict traitor mislead bendict asshole judas backstabber two-face homey wingman nigga cheater jerk liar penis testicles throbbing chode Cumberbatch cumberbatch anal grease booty juice hot mess wil wheaton benedict sherlock sexy english senor unf jerk douche unattractive ugly unacceptable double penetration cumberbatched sex anal stalk obsess love hopeful wishful crushing turtle sympathy turtle comprehension shell meld turtle apathy turtle aloofness tool fag dumbass fucker douchebag also moreover additionally again along along with and as well as well as besides conjointly further furthermore in conjunction with in like manner including likewise more more than that on top of over and above plus still to boot together with too withal added aggrandized amassed another augmented bounteous deeper else enhanced exceeding expanded extended extra farther fresh heavier higher in addition increased innumerable larger major massed new numerous other spare supplementary too many wider And? AND so what and one and what what fuck the world as long as i get mine suck it fuck the children dick loser punk he-bitch jerk and then conect that bitch gay affianced future intended old lady old man steady betrothed fiancé wife-to-be affianced person engaged person husband-to-be prospective spouse companion confidante date fiancée flame friend intimate partner soul mate sweetheart Juliet Romeo admirer beau beloved boyfriend courter darling dear dearest escort girlfriend idolizer inamorata inamorato infatuate paramour petitioner significant other solicitor suitor suppliant swain truelove valentine wooer concubine courtesan doxy kept woman mistress future mate future wife prospective wife bride-to-be groom-to-be lover Fiancee fiance white trash relationship marriage fiancee engaged babymomma feance feancee propose proposed proposal pop the question baby-momma baby-daddy spouse sperm-donner skank two-bagger two o&39;clocker 1-900 wife woman sophie Sophie beautiful smart girl amazing wisdom coo foo radass tahitian noni fruit bamf dude. dang it gem french friendly cool hyper funny pretty nice sweet soph sofie sophie g sophi sophia sassy sophy sofi sofy hawker trapper stalker chaser pursuer hound courser foxhound gun dog assassin butcher cut-throat executioner exterminator gunman/woman gunperson hit person hit-man/woman hunter slayer soldier scrounge scrounger killer scavenger Hunter hunter perfect honest hot cute shy kindhearted modest respectful regret buff ladies man good liar sexy tits shit badass straight nice amazing beautiful great awesome tomboy skater lover leader trend-setter hunting cat dog monkey sick tie marry clamp clip lock affix pair touch append mix span annex melt adhere attach leash mate couple cement fuse yoke splice knit clasp weave weld wed fasten add link blend tie up tag on loosen unlock detach resign open divide let go sever remove loose part unlink leave unmix follow enlist enter align enroll consort be in go to sign on sign up shun avoid stop meet reach fringe march extend conjoin bound abut rim adjoin butt hem line skirt miss keep be adjacent to border on butt against join neighbor approximate border communicate connect lie lie beside verge combine interconnect unite ally amalgamate associate band together come aboard confederate form connection go partners hook up incorporate line up plug into relate team up throw in with bind glue hitch on paste put on rivet slap on subjoin tack tack on tag administer anoint bestow cover lay on massage paint place rub smear spread affiliate apply j.o'in kick it hang out chill have funn with friends do something funn hero name idol draw lead commoner Moirai break chance circumstance consequence cup destination destiny divine will doom effect end ending fortune future handwriting on the wall horoscope inescapableness issue karma kismet lot luck nemesis outcome portion predestination providence stars termination upshot wheel of fortune destine foreordain predestine predetermine preordain predestinate champion genius master pro star virtuoso winner wizard be on bring down the house burlesque characterize do a turn dramatize emote enact feign go on go over ham ham it up impersonate lay an egg make debut mime mimic mug parody perform personate personify play play act play gig play part play role portray pretend put it over rehearse represent say one's piece simulate stooge strut take part tread the boards amateur artist barnstormer bit player character clown comedian entertainer extra foil hambone headliner impersonator ingenue ingénue pantomimist performer play-actor player soubrette stand-in straight person thesp thespian trouper understudy ventriloquist villain walk-on fate ace act actor Star starr moon comet starre estrella dude buddy man jamaican rasta indie pop rock indie music music canadian fusion thermonuclear reaction explode elements hydrogen friend best best friend close friend london London lundon england amazing troupe theater drama amphitheater arena assembly hall auditorium barn boards cinema coliseum concert hall deck drive-in footlights hall hippodrome house locale movie movie house oak odeum opera house playhouse room scene show hall site assuming characterization depiction dramatics dramatizing enacting enactment feigning hamming histrionics imitating imitation impersonation improvisation mime mimicry pantomime performance play acting playing portrayal portraying posing posturing pretending pretense putting rendition seeming showing off simulating stagecraft stooging theatre theatricals battlefield battleground domain field province realm sector sphere territory bar bistro cabaret café casino disco discotheque dive hideaway honky-tonk joint night spot nightery nitery restaurant roadhouse saloon speakeasy spot supper club tavern watering hole acting dramaturgy stage nightclub Theatre thespian techie actor director broadway shakespeare cool awesomeness!! real acting actors actress movies ampitheatre act script script writer costume improv dionyses techies screen silver screen movie star celebrity dvd live plays art ancient greeks disney times square meisner trophy gold gift grant verdict honor decree order loss reward confer hand out bestow allot donate assign present allocate accord render concede adjudge endow dish out fork out keep take approval award badge decoration distinction kudos laurels accede acquiesce admit allow give tender vouchsafe accomplishment achievement allowance annuity benefit bonus commission dividend donation earnings fortune gain income increment inheritance net premium prize proceeds profit remuneration return riches salary security wages wealth winnings apportion bequeath come through commit devote entrust favor give away honor with impart kick in lavish offer put out render to acclamation approbation bouquet brownie points credit encomium encouragement good opinion panegyric pat on the back pat on the head pay plum points posy puff pumping up rave recommendation shot in the arm stroke stroking tribute accept avow bury the hatchet capitulate cave in cede confess cry uncle ditto fess up fold give up go along with go with the flow hand over knuckle under let on own own up play ball with quit relinquish say uncle surrender throw in the towel waive yes one yield accolade acquisition commendation Brazil brazil big south america country nation sex countries latin america sexy fun latin lovable brazilian hot beach beauty boys spic top gear green day flash glare sun window lamp ray candle bulb glow star lantern torch dawn glitter sunrise gleam sparkle morn blaze glimmer sheen luster aurora glint beacon shine taper morning flare sunbeam daytime fulgor dimness eventide sundown sunset night dullness darkness dark aspect standing angle insight slant paragon attitude exemplar model approach example ignite brighten kindle put on turn on illumine animate inflame fire lighten spot cast flood illume light up darken drench dull quench mount burn spark flame sit perch drop stop rest roost move beam brightening brightness brilliance lighting lights radiance come down debark descend disembark dismount get off light settle touch down burst out coruscate explode flicker fulgurate illuminate incandesce jet radiate scintillate shimmer chance upon come across encounter hit light upon luck meet meet up with run across run into stumble tumble bake be ablaze brand broil calcine cauterize char combust conflagrate cook cremate enkindle heat incinerate melt parch reduce to ashes rekindle roast scald scorch sear set a match to singe smoke smolder toast wither arrive be one's fate befall betide blunder on break bump come come about come off come to pass fall out fall to one's lot hap hit upon occur stumble on transpire turn up illumination alight bump into chance LIGHTS Light Lights owl city myspace juno wow synth good evil sadness euphoria joy pain emptiness emo the emo cycle happiness valerie poxleitner the listening piano rock all of the lights kanye west west kanye the lights easy not difficult easily done ;opposite of hard most biggest bulkiest greatest largest best maximal mostest outside paramount superlative supreme top topmost ultimate better greater highest lion's share max maximum utmost uttermost boss cooler higher larger leading outstanding preeminent super terrific bigger bulkier longer more preponderant weightier regularly forever constantly usually anytime eternally evermore for keeps invariably at all endlessly unendingly consistently ever everlastingly forevermore in perpetuum perpetually repeatedly till blue in the face till cows come home till hell freezes over unceasingly without exception anyhow at any rate however in any case in any event in any manner nevertheless once always continually for ever so long additionally beyond excessively extra extremely immensely in excess inordinately left over more over and above overly overmuch remaining superfluous surplus too unduly unused exceedingly immoderately over overfull too much too-too very much awfully exceptionally exorbitantly greatly highly notably remarkably strikingly unconscionably unreasonably very anyway EVER Ever Ever. Ever best importance attention playa nice sweet kind zen girl whatever jack evr ass as in what epic description ray lewis oldspice ever arias everardo arias everardo newport harbor uc riverside soaring light loose free hollow wafting sailing heavy sunk amphibian amphibious floating marine maritime natatory oceanic of the sea sea swimming watery beatific cool crazy delighted dreamy ecstatic elated enchanted enraptured euphoric flying gone heavenly in ecstasy in seventh heaven in the twilight zone joyful joyous mad on cloud nine rapturous sent spaced-out turned-on afloat airy bouncy floatable resilient supernatant unsinkable weightless benumbed blown away coked comatose dazed doped dopey high junked-up loaded narcotized on a trip out of it ripped smashed stoned strung out stupefied unconscious athrill delirious enthusiastic entranced fervent flying high frenzied in exaltation out overjoyed pleased as punch ravished rhapsodic sunny thrilled tickled pink tickled to death transported turned on upbeat wild absurd aerial bizarre blue sky capricious castles in the air chimerical curious dreamlike extravagant fabulous fairy-tale fancied fantastic fantastical fictional fictitious fictive flaky ideal illusory imaginative imagined incredible kinky legendary mythical notional offbeat pie in the sky pipe dream poetic preposterous shadowy suppositious unreal visionary whimsical aquatic blissful buoyant drugged fanciful FLOATING Floating float shit dump dyke intake floated pussy vagina the act of float outercourse mormon provo water boat building wassup wazzup wazza whats up wots up wot happening happen happenin deal delio poo poop tree trees Trees ticker timer duty patrol picket guard tab eye notice gander vigil hawk sentry tout heed disregard ignorance neglect stare listen look attend scan regard see observe follow wait examine view case spy note inspect mind focus mark pipe gaze peer scope take in eyeball ignore avoid harm miss forget hurt keep oversee tend police look out be wary care for be in the service of do for doctor look after minister to nurse serve take care of wait upon watch work for catch concentrate on devote oneself get a load of hear hearken keep one's eye on lend an ear listen up look on occupy oneself with pay heed pick up see to sit take care consider contemplate descry discern distinguish earmark feast one's eyes flash lay eyes on perceive spot survey witness baby sit foster keep an eye on keep tabs on mind the store minister mother nurture pay attention to protect provide for ride herd on take pains treasure wait on watch over Big Ben alarm chroniker chronograph chronometer digital watch hourglass metronome pendulum stopwatch sundial tattler tick-tock timekeeper timemarker timepiece turnip baby-sit behold care clock Watch lookout night-watch bow-watch port-watch starboard-watch cock chicken pineapple time faggot dan jacking off cent quarters silver copper pennies coins nickels dimes bill copper penny farthing hill of beans penny chicken feed pin money pocket money spending money red cent change Penny Penny amazing beautiful girl world money bling currency blah nothing herr danny&39;s girlfriend danny&39;s girl best girlfriend penelope greek root weaver odysseus penelops stupid i&39;m screwed my life sucks fuck shit inspector gadget google it penni google find it search mordaunt impish rowdy playful wicked evil froward raunchy rough sinful teasing tough unruly wanton wayward willful wrong moral calm good nice clean pure lewd ribald bawdy dirty adult blue hot loose purple steamy chaste decent disobedient ill-behaved misbehaving naughty indecent obscene off-color racy risqué salty shady smutty spicy suggestive contrary contumacious disorderly fractious headstrong insubordinate intractable noncompliant nonobservant obstreperous perverse recalcitrant refractory resistive uncompliant undisciplined delicate devilish elfish frolicsome little minute petite prankish puckish puny rascally slight sprightly tiny aberrant deviating devious drifting errable erratic erring fallible heretic meandering mischievous miscreant off straight and narrow offending rambling ranging roaming roving shifting sinning stray straying unorthodox unreliable wandering casual devil-may-care elfin elvish fiendish flippant free and easy fresh giddy jaunty offhand pert pixieish saucy sportive waggish bad errant Naughty Naughties naughties Naughtys naughtyes sex yum babes chikas hotties ladies females chicken cockerel capon prick hump pile stack erect raise raze dick peter shaft willy wood banty barnyard fowl biddy chick cock cock-a-doodle-do cockalorum gump heeler hen poultry pullet rooster assemble bring about cobble up compose construct create effect elevate fabricate fashion fit together forge form found frame fudge together heighten hoist initiate institute join knock together lift make make up manufacture mount organize pitch plant prefabricate produce put together put up rear run up set up shape stand stand up throw together throw up upraise uprear aim bevel bow cant deviate diverge heel lay level list lower nod point recline skew slant slope stoop tend tilt tip train turn veer yaw be off be slanted bear on beetle careen curve decline deflect dip divert drift droop fasten on hang on incline jut overhang place prop put weight on repose rest rest on roll sag sheer sink twist faucet spigot tap assemblage bank bundle heap hill hoard load mass mound mountain pack pyramid sheaf lean nozzle Cock penis sex machine scrotum dialogue tone language voice prose jargon diction accent idiom palaver speaking dialect voicing spiel prattle parlance locution tongue lingo quiet paper appeal debate sermon stump pitch tirade parley opus eulogy homily act action address air attitude bag bearing carriage code comportment conduct convention course dealings decency decorum deed delivery demeanor deportment ethics etiquette expression form front guise habits management mien mode morals nature observance performance practice presence propriety ritual role routine savoir-faire seemliness social graces speech style tact talk taste tenue way way of life ways what's done account advice announcement briefing bulletin communiqué conversation converse declaration directive disclosure dispatch excerpt goods hot story ideas info information inside story intelligence lowdown message missive news note pipeline poop prophecy précis publicity report revelation scoop skinny statement summary tidings translation utterance warning word work chat colloquy comment communication communion confab confabulation conference consultation discussion exchange gab gossip hearing intercourse jive observation pillow talk powwow questioning remark repartee talkfest tête-à-tête ventilation visit yak elocution emphasis enunciation inflection intonation modulation pronunciation article descant disquisition essay gabfest huddle lecture memoir monograph monologue oration rhetoric thesis tractate treatise verbalization declamation dramatic eloquence oratory public speaking reading speechcraft speechmaking voice culture voice production behavior discourse court diet senate assembly association caucus chamber club committee conclave conference convention convocation council delegates government guild league legislative body legislature meeting order parliament society the Hill the house union board body brain trust cabinet clan confab congregation congress directorate gang gathering governing body groupthink huddle kitchen cabinet meet ministry mob official family outfit panel powwow ring synod commons house house of representatives lawmakers plenum voice of the people chamber of deputies general assembly house of assembly legislative assembly soviet national assembly Parliament parliaments cigarette cocaine yays funkadelic p-funk funk the bomb uncut weed slut smokers smoking parliment parliamant collective nouns male genitalia politicians sex bop george clinton love
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